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FML with : headphon

Number of results : 44

Today, I opened my Christmas presents with my husband. One of the things he got me was a ball gag. "Yeah," he said with a grin, "That one's more for me but I didn't wanna buy myself headphones." Cue our son asking me what it was. FML

#21507419
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20223) - you deserved it (1936)

On 12/24/2015 at 6:47pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, while working at my desk alone and with my headphones in, I suddenly let loose a loud stream of gas. As I shifted uncomfortably in my seat, I saw, in the reflection of my laptop, that my roommate had been sitting silently on the couch right behind me. FML

#21499834
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19043) - you deserved it (4198)

On 12/03/2015 at 10:21pm - health - by yayibs - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27605) - you deserved it (2181)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, I snuck downstairs to watch a midnight movie. One moment I'm trying to plug my headphones in, in the dark, and the next my dad's beating the shit out of me with a baseball bat. Turns out he snuck down after me for a midnight snack and thought I was a burglar disconnecting the TV. FML

#21399867
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34424) - you deserved it (5099)

On 04/26/2015 at 6:05am - health - by Anonymous (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I signed into my online class, got bored, and took off my headphones to argue with my roommates about anal sex. At the end of the argument, I put my headphones back on to hear my professor asking if someone could call me to tell me to turn my damn mic off. FML

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42851) - you deserved it (41445)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put my headphones on and laid down to relax to some music. I fell asleep, and woke up later to a police officer busting into my house. My neighbor had been knocking on my door, then looked through my window and saw me on my couch, and was convinced I'd died. FML

#21168349
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52753) - you deserved it (5092)

On 06/09/2014 at 3:37pm - misc - by I'm Not Dead Yet - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let my sister use my phone to play music in the shower, expecting her to use the speakers I have. She used a ziplock bag with a hole in it to connect her headphones. Now I have a waterlogged phone and my sister still doesn't understand why it didn't work. FML

#21130991
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45839) - you deserved it (7913)

On 05/04/2014 at 11:18pm - misc - by wow. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found that I conduct so much static electricity that I'm periodically given a shock by my headphones as I walk with them on. 5ML

#21038657
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34843) - you deserved it (4162)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by PangolinScholar (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my brother is adamant that if he records silence, then listens to said silence at full volume, it'll improve the headphones' noise-blocking abilities. I live with a complete idiot. FML

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46924) - you deserved it (13923)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

#20672107
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43536) - you deserved it (20858)

On 05/19/2013 at 12:16am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

#20198068
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23967) - you deserved it (4602)

On 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm - health - by Aaron - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

#20049664
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (2516)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my headphones on while on the bus. I didn't realize how loud the music was till the woman sitting next to me punched me for changing her favorite song and then "ignoring her" when she asked me to put it back. FML

#19540360
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25176) - you deserved it (8796)

On 04/28/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States



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