Submit your FML story
- - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
- - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Number of results : 80
Today, I found out my fiancé is already married when his wife showed up at my door. That's about the same time she found her husband is gay, and that Ashley can be a man's name. FML
Today, at a family dinner, my mom announced that my newborn brother was named after his father. His name is Kevin. My dad's name is Michael. FML
Today, I got married. The minister pronounced us husband and wife using our first names. Except he used my husband's ex-wife's name. I happened to glance at my mother-in-law who was almost in tears from laughing so hard. FML
Today, it was my dad's retirement. He is traditional Japanese, so I had custom-ordered a samurai sword from a traditional Japanese blacksmith with dad's name engraved on the blade in kanji script. He loved it, right up til my drunk cousin tried to use it to cut down a tree and snapped it in two. FML
Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML
Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML
Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML
Today, I found out the pet name my girlfriend gave my penis wasn't randomly made up after all; it's her ex's name. FML
Today, I went to a club to celebrate New Year's Eve. A cute guy came up to me at the bar and asked my name. I thought my 8 year long dry spell was finally about to end. I smiled and said "Chrissy!" He said "That's a whore's name!" and wandered back off into the crowd. FML
Today, I told my father I'm going to a club with a friend and staying the night at my friend's place. He asked for my friend's name, number, and address so he knows where I'll be. I'm 30 years old. FML
Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML
Today, after putting in so much effort to forgive my husband for his affair, we had sex. Not even 2 minutes into it, he called me by the other woman's name. FML
Today, my boyfriend of a couple of weeks mixed up my name with his ex wife's name. After he said it, he looked at me and said, "You knew it was going to happen." FML
Today, my 6-year-old brother showed me the "books" he's been writing for the past week. My parents, who are first-generation immigrants, want him to take the books to school to show everyone. My only problem with this? The main character's name is "Wanker". FML