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FML with : ceed

Number of results : 32

Today, in an attempt to broaden my horizons in another sport besides swimming, I succeeded in getting a frisbee spiked into my face. FML

#21499524
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15631) - you deserved it (1434)

On 12/02/2015 at 11:22pm - misc - by fishoutofwater - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I made a Facebook post about my upcoming driving test. My grandpa said he knew I would succeed, prompting my idiot boyfriend to reply "For sure, she really knows how to suck seed ;)" followed by him liking his own comment. FML

#21486266
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24768) - you deserved it (4397)

On 10/30/2015 at 7:29pm - intimacy - by not anymore (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

#21460085
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22083) - you deserved it (2196)

On 08/24/2015 at 1:32pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17106) - you deserved it (23907)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

#21327839
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26013) - you deserved it (46225)

On 12/31/2014 at 2:00pm - kids - by skanula414 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, I wore what I thought was a hideous sweater from the thrift store for an ugly sweater contest. I've gotten more compliments on it than anything else I've ever worn. I can't even succeed at failure. FML

#21315542
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30982) - you deserved it (3694)

On 12/11/2014 at 11:10am - work - by anyoldnamewilldo (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I succeeded in getting a seat on a crowded bus. I regretted this when, after a couple of stops, a big guy boarded the bus and stood next to me with his penis pressed against my shoulder. Longest. Bus ride. Ever. FML

#21236507
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40720) - you deserved it (3848)

On 08/13/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was told that I'm very likely to win the "Most Likely to Exceed 5 Cats" yearbook award. My best friend said, "They wanted it to be 'Most Likely to Die Alone', but it was a bit harsh". Someone else added, "It's still pretty likely, though". FML

#21128889
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44066) - you deserved it (4290)

On 05/02/2014 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40182) - you deserved it (3244)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46054) - you deserved it (11888)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46529) - you deserved it (5471)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

#19867617
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13945) - you deserved it (17369)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
330 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38786) - you deserved it (13350)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11414) - you deserved it (73026)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)



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