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FML with : ceed

Number of results : 24

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (2607)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend finally succeeded in unhooking my bra with one hand, excitedly exclaiming, "Boobies be free!" FML

#21043704
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40424) - you deserved it (10145)

On 01/29/2014 at 12:13am - love - by freed - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend saw a YouTube video of a guy throwing boiling water into the cold air, with the water immediately turning to ice and vapor. He copied it, but only succeeded in dousing himself with boiling water, then making me drive his idiot self to the hospital. FML

#21023480
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41062) - you deserved it (4558)

On 01/10/2014 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, during lunch break at work, the bitter departmental rivalry blew out of control, when one of the glorified thugs from HR started a fistfight with my shift supervisor. I rushed in to break it up, but only succeeded in getting sucker-punched into next week. FML

Today, I was trying to put some new curtains up. I couldn't make sense of the instructions, so I decided to wing it. I spent a frustrating half hour fighting with it, and just seconds after I succeeded, the curtain rod gave way and slammed straight onto my head. FML

#19867617
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10394) - you deserved it (13352)

On 06/29/2012 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32741) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, I found that when a hot girl asks you whether you have a girlfriend, saying, "I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one" is not the best way to proceed. FML

#18442495
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7861) - you deserved it (50661)

On 12/06/2011 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my girlfriend tried to change her pad while we were sitting in a crowded movie theatre. She succeeded and slipped the used pad into her purse. I can't get rid of the memory, and I don't think I can ever eat popcorn again. FML

#18120358
591 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56336) - you deserved it (4484)

On 10/31/2011 at 11:38am - intimacy - by ohdear (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I attempted to bleach my body hair so I wouldn't have to shave. A little while later, I realized that I'd also succeeded in bleaching my skin, which was incredibly noticeable. I'm hosting a pool party this weekend. FML

#16817769
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8736) - you deserved it (41119)

On 06/23/2011 at 2:56pm - health - by run4fun (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I went to sell my wedding rings, due to the fact that I'm getting divorced from a man who cheated on me. The jeweler informed me that the stone in my engagement ring is fake. I won't even be able to cover the divorce costs from the proceeds. FML

#16702433
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33692) - you deserved it (4735)

On 06/16/2011 at 10:17pm - money - by pookie99 - United States (Colorado)

Today, after three unsuccessful months of trying to make me orgasm, my boyfriend finally succeeded. It came from his car bumping up and down while we drove down a pot-holed road. FML

#16283076
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (4208)

On 05/21/2011 at 4:02pm - intimacy - by hahanosirr (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I stepped outside my office building for a smoke break and I witnessed a mugging so I ran over to stop it. I succeeded in getting mugged instead of the original target. I then couldn't get into my building until a coworker left an hour later. My boss was mad and still doesn't believe me. FML

#15692090
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (4934)

On 04/08/2011 at 7:58am - work - by Fired -

Today, my girlfriend hid my car keys and decided that she wouldn't give them back until I succeeded in giving her an orgasm. FML

#15689615
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (71519)

On 04/08/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by failure -

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19436) - you deserved it (9305)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML

#6888473
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25752) - you deserved it (3494)

On 12/22/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by everyonewasstaring (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)



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