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FML with : feel like i

Number of results : 19

Today, while writing a self-evaluation for my internship, I had to type up answers to certain questions and then submit them. After submission, I re-read one of the answers I had written that said, "After 3 months on the jon I finally feel like I have accomplished a lot." I had meant to write job. FML

#20863679
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29519) - you deserved it (8029)

On 09/01/2013 at 9:21pm - work - by OnCompanyTimeToo (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46078) - you deserved it (5090)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, due to my allergies I can't stop sneezing. It wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't for my hemorrhoids making each sneeze feel like I'm getting a cactus shoved up my ass. FML

#20679212
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34317) - you deserved it (2889)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:38am - health - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (5221)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend yet again decided to act like Edward Cullen from Twilight, and got his friend to act like Jacob. Every time they're around, my boyfriend always looks stoned and constipated, and his friend is shirtless. I feel like I'm in a shitty romance movie. FML

#20460771
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38950) - you deserved it (6911)

On 01/15/2013 at 1:57pm - love - by Bella (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22668) - you deserved it (4612)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I was at the mall, when a guy started screaming at his buddy for sleeping with his sister. It was pretty hilarious, so when he stormed off, I mockingly yelled, "Pussy!" He then whirled around and beat the absolute hell out of his friend. Now I feel like I'm going to reincarnate as a turd. FML

#20011677
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5723) - you deserved it (43929)

On 08/09/2012 at 3:51pm - misc - by feelsterrible (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I asked my girlfriend why she never lets me in her house. She stared blankly and said, "What is inside is not for thine eyes." I told her best friend about this creepiness later on. She sighed and said, "T'was not for mine eyes either. I didst fail to listen." I feel like I'm losing my mind here. FML

#19772012
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19458) - you deserved it (2455)

On 06/11/2012 at 5:45pm - love - by amidreaming?? (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I tried to impress my girlfriend by vaulting over the side of a stairway rail parkour-style. Now I feel like I almost broke my legs, and judging by her hysterical laughter, she considers me more of a fool than a stud. FML

#19334531
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5560) - you deserved it (26527)

On 03/23/2012 at 7:51pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I wondered if my orgasms are worth the bother, seeing as I get horrible "I feel like I'm dying" cramps every time I climax. FML

#19199662
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23751) - you deserved it (2121)

On 03/01/2012 at 10:54pm - intimacy - by imawesome - United States

Today, I switched from pads to tampons. It took me several botched attempts trying insert one before I succeeded, and now I feel like I've just raped myself. FML

#18814672
325 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32739) - you deserved it (11618)

On 01/15/2012 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by lolwut - United States

Today, we were playing dodgeball at school. I tried to duck and jump around so the idiots on the other team couldn't nail me with the ball. Mid-jump, it tore through the air and smashed straight into my ballsack, sending me curling into a fetal position on the floor. I feel like I got sterilized. FML

#18098889
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (9243)

On 10/28/2011 at 8:44pm - misc - by ricksterile - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML

#16464614
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29288) - you deserved it (2267)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:27am - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML

#15858383
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28420) - you deserved it (4101)

On 04/20/2011 at 11:25am - work - by ShakeRattleHiss (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving home, I was so lonely I turned on my GPS, even though I knew the way, so it would feel like I had someone to talk to. It made me feel better. FML

#13854444
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28543) - you deserved it (4705)

On 11/15/2010 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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