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FML with : only for him

Number of results : 7

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30876) - you deserved it (7405)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while on patrol with my partner, we came across a guy getting a beat-down on the sidewalk. After restraining the attacker, we helped the victim to his feet, only for him to spit at us and call us "goddamn pigs". You're welcome, sir. FML

#21101111
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (4041)

On 03/31/2014 at 4:07pm - work - by dunno why we bother (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to a dance and saw a really cute guy. Glow sticks were everywhere, so trying to be cute, I took a broken one and dripped some of the glowing liquid on my chest. It made him notice me, but only for him to point out that I'd managed to cut myself and was bleeding badly. FML

#20801095
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (47731)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:05pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

#17453333
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40154) - you deserved it (4179)

On 08/12/2011 at 8:05pm - intimacy - by -_- - United States

Today, I was online and I saw a friend that I hadn't talked to in two years come online. I IM'ed him, only for him to respond, "I haven't responded to any messages of yours in over a year. Most people would get the hint." FML

#14062616
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24259) - you deserved it (7457)

On 12/02/2010 at 6:43pm - misc - by wingless_angel_7 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

#2112917
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45494) - you deserved it (16172)

On 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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