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FML with : a rag

Number of results : 24

Today, while lifeguarding over children at work, I started thinking about my girlfriend and got a hard on. Before I realized it, I saved a kid and then hopped out of the pool next to a 5 year old in front of my managers and a little over 50 patrons with a raging boner. My HR meeting is tomorrow. FML

#21437372
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26124) - you deserved it (6652)

On 07/06/2015 at 1:28pm - intimacy - by notacreep - United States (California)

Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML

#21418416
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31107) - you deserved it (4850)

On 05/31/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by bonehead69 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned I'm claustrophobic by having a raging oh-god-I'm-gonna-fucking-die panic attack while I was stuck inside an MRI scanner. FML

#21408444
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (2001)

On 05/11/2015 at 3:39pm - health - by birchbeer - United States (California)

Today, what few friends I have won't talk to me anymore. My ex told them she dumped me because I abused her. I never abused her. What really happened is that she dumped me in a rage after I refused to give her money for drugs. Nobody's even asked for my side of the story. FML

#21306153
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36402) - you deserved it (2281)

On 11/26/2014 at 11:42am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38539) - you deserved it (3064)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up with a raging hangover. I soon checked my phone, only to find that I'd drunkenly sent nude pictures to several friends' numbers, as well as to my own. I'd then replied to my own message, saying that I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off. FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28692) - you deserved it (41200)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a soon-to-be-ex co-worker flew into a rage when she saw she wasn't on the schedule for next week. The boss told her it's because she quit. She reminded the boss she wants to keep working part-time. My new job is inventing tasks for her to do to keep her calm. FML

#20869282
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36577) - you deserved it (2311)

On 09/05/2013 at 7:29pm - work - by Zuzubat (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got home from work a little late due to bad traffic. My wife kissed me, then flew into a rage and swore that I had the taste of penis on my lips, accusing me of cheating on her with a guy. Apparently she got this insane "test your man" idea from some Cosmo-type magazine. FML

#20860284
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46661) - you deserved it (3062)

On 08/30/2013 at 12:14pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48980) - you deserved it (3517)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Today, things got pretty steamy between my boyfriend and me. We started doing stuff that neither of us had tried before. Then, he straddled me with a raging erection and boomed, "IT HAS RISEN!" He didn't understand why I was suddenly no longer in the mood. FML

#20623610
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49221) - you deserved it (9664)

On 04/26/2013 at 6:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my doctor asked me how often I drink, and I responded, "Socially." My three-year-old piped up, "No Mom, you drink all the time." My doctor now thinks I'm a raging alcoholic. My kid has never seen me drink. FML

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44168) - you deserved it (6422)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, it's my 21st birthday and my dad has decided to take away my ID in fear that if I have even one drink to celebrate I'll become a raging alcoholic. FML

#20189765
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23374) - you deserved it (2458)

On 12/03/2012 at 6:01pm - misc - by VedaLynn - United States

Today, I'm at home, sick with walking pneumonia and a raging UTI. Every time I cough, I piss myself. I'm now having to lie on a bath towel and garbage bags until the meds kick in. FML

#20145285
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24249) - you deserved it (1569)

On 11/03/2012 at 1:34am - health - by jdch_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

#20090653
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22071) - you deserved it (1630)

On 09/27/2012 at 4:19am - misc - by Creeped - United States



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