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FML with : eyelas

Number of results : 16

Today, my 12-year-old daughter glued her left eyelid shut with fake eyelash glue. After spending 4 hours in the ER, I asked her why she did it. "I wanted to get Blake to notice me," she said. Blake is our neighbor's convict son. FML

Today, I finished a dance competition. With competitions, it requires you to wear a lot of makeup like false eyelashes and red lipstick. I went into a Starbucks to get a coffee and a boy around 18 asked me, in all seriousness, what my rate is for one night. FML

#20642261
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50876) - you deserved it (9920)

On 05/05/2013 at 1:01am - misc - by dancer, not a hooker... - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I realized that the "eyelash curling brush" that my best friend found in my old bathroom drawer was actually a stick used for cleaning food out of my sister's braces. I used that thing for years. FML

#20519962
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20854) - you deserved it (11399)

On 02/24/2013 at 9:30am - misc - by curly_eyelashes - Canada (Ontario)

Today, within the first 15 minutes of a nonstop 8-hour flight, the guy sitting next to me picked an eyelash he found on my face, stared at it for a few seconds, and stuck it in his mouth. FML

#20447129
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (2132)

On 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm - misc - by legitweirdo - United States (New York)

Today, after having sex for the first time with my girlfriend, I realised I was in love with her. I noticed she had an eyelash on her breast. After tugging it a few times I realised it was actually a single black nipple hair. She was so embarrassed, she kicked me out and now won't return my calls. FML

#20426821
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28794) - you deserved it (23506)

On 12/27/2012 at 10:06pm - intimacy - by ohman (man) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9345) - you deserved it (24729)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I missed my flight because I was held in airport security because I'd "threatened" an employee. He had confiscated my eyelash curler and jokingly I asked if he thought I was going to curl him to death. He didn't laugh. FML

#16685518
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33755) - you deserved it (8660)

On 06/15/2011 at 10:42pm - misc - by missy - United States (Alaska)

Today, I used my hair straightener to attempt to straighten my eyelashes and burned my eyelid. I don't know what's sadder, that fact I thought it would be fun, or that I was stupid enough to think I wouldn't hurt myself. FML

#15753750
380 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9185) - you deserved it (116752)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:01am - health - by sadcase - Australia

Today, I fell and got a nasty cut above my right eye. The doctor in the ER sealed the wound with surgical glue. He also glued his glove to my eyebrow, and let glue run onto my eyelid. Not only do I have a scar and medical bill, I now have no eyebrow or eyelashes on my right eye. FML

#14488481
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24730) - you deserved it (1571)

On 01/06/2011 at 7:26pm - health - by Dante -

Today, airport security took away my 32$ eyelash curler, because it could be used as a weapon. I miss the 90s. FML

#12574406
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24674) - you deserved it (6572)

On 08/17/2010 at 12:59am - misc - by J.O.S (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up to find a tick stuck to my eyelashes. The only way I know of to get it off is with fire. FML

#12431903
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28523) - you deserved it (6026)

On 08/10/2010 at 12:34pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27072) - you deserved it (6494)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was tinting my own eyelashes when I missed my eyelashes and stabbed myself in the eye with the applicator loaded with dye. Now, I have beautiful lush black eyelashes, to match my half closed swollen red left eye. Sexy. FML

#5947119
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10898) - you deserved it (24608)

On 10/22/2009 at 6:22pm - health - by Bunni (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny prank to put duct tape on my eyes while I was sleeping so that when I woke up, I would be blind. I have no more eyelashes. FML

#5848296
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35761) - you deserved it (2446)

On 10/16/2009 at 4:20am - misc - by xXx (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

#2213407
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52237) - you deserved it (3214)

On 05/23/2009 at 3:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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