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FML with : _nk

Number of results : 4110

Today, for the seventh weekend in a row, I left my weekly visit with my long-distance boyfriend unsatisfied. Seems he enjoys getting shit-faced drunk more than he enjoys getting a boner. FML

#21523668
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (1650)

On 02/07/2016 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by noO (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14184) - you deserved it (4814)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

#21523525
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9359) - you deserved it (19142)

On 02/06/2016 at 10:36pm - work - by FailingMyCourse - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, I heard a noise in my garage so I grabbed a baseball bat and went to look. The skunk I stirred was actually better armed than me. FML

#21523316
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14750) - you deserved it (1424)

On 02/06/2016 at 6:42am - animals - by moosemay (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12285) - you deserved it (9446)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandma got drunk, tried to change the TV channel with my Xbox controller, and slurred at me to fuck off when I told her it wasn't the remote. She pulls this kind of crap way too often. FML

#21523258
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (1101)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:04am - misc - by sick of this shit (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I agreed to anal with my boyfriend, which he was happy about, until I told him in the interest of fair play he also had to let me fuck him with a strap on. It didn't take him very long to suddenly decide anal is disgusting, with all kinds of health risks. And he thinks he's the smart one. FML

#21522856
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19118) - you deserved it (2897)

On 02/04/2016 at 8:01pm - intimacy - by sandra (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (1732)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my parents have deliberately ruined my last 2 relationships, because they want me to get back together with my ex simply because he is my son's dad. Apparently, my son needs his father more than I need a man who won't beat me every time he gets drunk. FML

#21521515
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27388) - you deserved it (1579)

On 01/31/2016 at 4:38pm - work - by anon (woman) - United States

Today, a car backfired as I waited for my bus and I screamed, thinking I'd been shot. The only thing more humiliating than that was the pissy underwear I had to go back home to change out of. FML

#21521061
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (5316)

On 01/30/2016 at 5:30am - misc - by AV (man) - Bulgaria (Plovdiv)

Today, I finally scrounged up enough change to do laundry, so I loaded up my car, swung by the bank to take out my rent money, and stopped at a gas station to get a drink. When I came outside, my car was gone, along with all my clothes and rent money. FML

Today, I found out my best friend was cheating on her boyfriend. After confronting her boyfriend and showing him proof, he responded with denial and didn't believe me. Now my whole circle of friends not only think I'm trying to start a rumor, but that I'm a home wrecker. FML

#21520351
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20506) - you deserved it (8077)

On 01/28/2016 at 7:12am - misc - by iTried - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

#21520025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22525) - you deserved it (4318)

On 01/27/2016 at 10:35am - misc - by 404: Sanity Not Found (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was locked out of my house. With no other available option, I decided to try and ninja my way through a window. However, as it turns out, I would make a terrible ninja. I now have a sprained ankle and a broken window. FML

#21519916
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15771) - you deserved it (4787)

On 01/27/2016 at 12:20am - misc - by valene5687 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend moved in with me. I just walked into my kitchen to find my thirty year-old, perfectly seasoned cast iron skillet completely submerged in soapy water in the sink, presumably from last night when he washed the dishes. FML



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