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FML with : despera

Number of results : 87

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26688) - you deserved it (7079)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30777) - you deserved it (3841)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25378) - you deserved it (8645)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19789) - you deserved it (36063)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24343) - you deserved it (2486)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27557) - you deserved it (2543)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43214) - you deserved it (3408)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37200) - you deserved it (5752)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (10525)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, not even a week after I was laid off from my job, I got a call from my old boss. He offered me a "new" job at the company, which turned out to be just like my old one, but with drastically reduced pay. I'm so broke and desperate that I accepted. FML

#21122645
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38020) - you deserved it (3889)

On 04/25/2014 at 11:40am - work - by kris - United States (California)

Today, my crazily elitist parents were so desperate to get me to dump my fiancé that they threatened to divorce if I didn't. When I told them to go ahead, they bitched me out for being disrespectful. FML

#21117173
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45609) - you deserved it (3889)

On 04/19/2014 at 1:25pm - love - by reb (woman) - United Kingdom (Ealing)

Today, my ex-husband came to pick up our two kids for his weekend with them. Seeing his new girlfriend was in the car, and desperate for conversation, I asked her name. My kids unhesitatingly blurted out, "Mom". FML

#21115862
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51025) - you deserved it (4868)

On 04/17/2014 at 10:31pm - kids - by mommy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my friend saw a stamp on my hand and asked me which club I had gone to last night. I was so desperate to seem cool that I lied, instead of admitting it was actually from a children's play group that I took my kids to. FML

#21105342
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32793) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/05/2014 at 6:05pm - kids - by lamemom - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I resorted to the oldest prank in the book: laxatives in the food. Except it wasn't for a prank, but just a desperate attempt to get my clingy boyfriend to leave me the hell alone. I think I'm going to hell. FML

#21101967
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39596) - you deserved it (11202)

On 04/01/2014 at 3:21pm - love - by someone (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, in a desperate attempt to add some variety to my life, I resorted to closing my eyes and picking a random font for my essay paper. FML

#20998799
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32509) - you deserved it (7217)

On 12/20/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Jess (woman) - United States (California)



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