Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : despera

Number of results : 93

Today, my dad texted me, saying "My dicks so hard 4 u". I'm desperately hoping he meant to send that to his girlfriend instead. FML

#21434895
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24044) - you deserved it (1568)

On 07/01/2015 at 2:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34774) - you deserved it (2094)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

#21403035
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19124) - you deserved it (21899)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm - work - by RavingLunatic (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boss asked if I could spare a few minutes to finish off the last of his paperwork backlog. I'm pretty desperate for a raise, so I said sure. Turns out the "small", "should-take-a-few-minutes" backlog consists of 3 desk-high stacks of documents. Goodbye, cruel world. FML

#21399405
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (2868)

On 04/25/2015 at 8:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (3342)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my internet was out and wasn't due to be fixed until at least Tuesday. I'm a grad student with a lot of online research to do and deadlines to meet, so I desperately bought an expensive and non-returnable portable wifi hub. An hour ago, the internet came back on. FML

#21386971
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27483) - you deserved it (5638)

On 04/03/2015 at 11:08am - work - by WiFucked (woman) - United Kingdom (Durham)

Today, while on a date, I desperately let out a stealth fart in my date's car. I didn't have the nerve to own up to it, even as he started panicking and thinking the smell was coming from his engine. FML

#21374172
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27418) - you deserved it (7707)

On 03/14/2015 at 12:27am - misc - by thecarisfine (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my brother was doing an extremely annoying Shrek impression, so I turned the TV on in a desperate attempt to drown him out. You'll never guess what movie was on. FML

#21369958
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (135) - you deserved it (21)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25932) - you deserved it (9226)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19843) - you deserved it (36188)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, it's been five days since my roommate last talked to me. Although she's not communicating with me verbally, she's excelling at non-verbal communication: slamming doors and drawers, and watching loud videos, all while I desperately try to study. FML

#21345047
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24389) - you deserved it (2494)

On 01/27/2015 at 11:12am - misc - by NoTalkAllGame - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, desperate for work, I went into a shop and asked the owner if he had any spare jobs to fill. He looked me up and down and sneered "Yes, but not for people like... you." FML

#21332025
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27619) - you deserved it (2547)

On 01/06/2015 at 1:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43321) - you deserved it (3413)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37261) - you deserved it (5763)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

#21130490
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42601) - you deserved it (10889)

On 05/04/2014 at 1:17pm - health - by Numbass123 (man) - United States (Nevada)



FML's blog

  • Angie's illustrated FML
  • Here we go again. This week I'm talking to you live from the Paris Japan Expo. I'm dressed up as Bernard from the Sailor Moon series, and I almost got kicked out because my katana wasn't the…

Friday 3 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: