Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : the third time

Number of results : 28

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33780) - you deserved it (4544)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, and for the third time this week, I found a pubic hair in my soup. I'm currently bed-ridden and can't afford to piss off my boyfriend by complaining. FML

#21054632
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37449) - you deserved it (4366)

On 02/08/2014 at 5:14pm - misc - by vey (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, some kids used firecrackers to blow up my mailbox. This is the third time this week. FML

#20961862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34727) - you deserved it (2780)

On 11/18/2013 at 5:14am - kids - by kids next door - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the third time since breakfast, I accidentally walked in on my father wanking. FML

#20870154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45061) - you deserved it (4740)

On 09/06/2013 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by jesus christ, dad (woman) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I walked past a girl giving out leaflets for a nightclub. She ignored me the first two times. I dismissed it cynically, thinking she was only giving them to good looking young people. The third time she gave one to a balding 40-year old guy with his pre-teen kid. She still ignored me. FML

#20835243
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (4562)

On 08/13/2013 at 10:55am - misc - by martyn28 (man) - United Kingdom

Today, for the third time this week, a telemarketer called me. Seriously annoyed, I told him in German that I don't speak English, in an attempt to get rid of him. He then started delivering his product pitch in German. FML

#20627240
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49207) - you deserved it (10900)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:57am - misc - by Anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, I was yelled at and called a pedophile by a mom for talking to her 5 year old girl. I work at a library and she looked like she needed help. This is the third time it has happened. FML

#20621829
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42870) - you deserved it (3486)

On 04/25/2013 at 9:37pm - kids - by LibraryPedo (man) - United States (California)

Today, my department found out that we're getting a new supervisor for the third time this month. I joked about how we're like "the foster kid nobody wants." One of my coworkers burst into tears and ran off. I later found out that she had been a foster child and never once had a stable home. FML

#20550513
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (26054)

On 03/19/2013 at 5:59am - work - by Luke - United States (New York)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28602) - you deserved it (13094)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

#20071176
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31365) - you deserved it (1927)

On 09/14/2012 at 1:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to go into the school for the third time this week because my son is claiming he's on bath salts and biting all his classmates. My son is 16. FML

#20061403
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (2550)

On 09/07/2012 at 1:08am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I have a cold, and was stuck sleeping in bed. My roommate decided to wake me up by sticking headphones in my ears and playing heavy metal on full volume. This is the third time this week. FML

#20049664
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16093) - you deserved it (1886)

On 08/30/2012 at 4:34pm - health - by shadowsorel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up for the third time in a row from a wet dream about my ex-girlfriend. I'm currently on my honeymoon. FML

#19405525
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28178) - you deserved it (9946)

On 04/04/2012 at 6:53am - intimacy - by gordogs 25 - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML

#16927788
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21983) - you deserved it (1746)

On 06/30/2011 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad gave me a speech about being gay. He said he'll accept me if that's who I truly am, but he wants me to think it over first. I'm an actor in a play. I had to explain the concept of wearing costumes and acting like someone else to him. For the third time. FML

#16921062
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29941) - you deserved it (3536)

On 06/30/2011 at 10:36am - misc - by sealpop09 - United States (Colorado)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: