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FML with : head

Number of results : 723

Today, I was doing laundry while my boyfriend was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I glanced over and caught him watching my ass as I put clothes in the dryer. Trying to be sexy, I looked at him as I slowly bent over to put more clothes in. Instead, I hit my head hard on the dryer door. FML

#21449270
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11491) - you deserved it (3088)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:34pm - intimacy - by RuasaLove - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14706) - you deserved it (7129)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19744) - you deserved it (2765)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (4556)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, over the course of three hours, I was burned by our toaster oven, hit in the head by a fridge door, hit my toes on a chair, clipped my hip on a table edge, and had both the washer and dryer lids slam on the same hand. I'm not sure what hurts more, my body or the shame. FML

#21446242
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (3680)

On 07/23/2015 at 10:13pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at my first day of work, I was impressing my trainer with my skills by carrying many trays at once. Well, I could until I came around the corner and ran into a customer. With food all over his front, he introduced him self to me as the head manager. FML

#21439023
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21863) - you deserved it (4096)

On 07/09/2015 at 1:02pm - work - by notsogoodtrainee - United States (North Dakota)

Today, while reading my girlfriends kid's a story, her daughter started pouring a tiny watering can on my head. When I asked her what she was doing, she said, "Watering your head so your hair grows back". I'm twenty-seven. FML

#21437640
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23907) - you deserved it (2080)

On 07/06/2015 at 10:21pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, after finally spending the night with my longtime crush, it's as if I can still feel her fingers caressing my hair. But wait, no, that's just the head lice she gave me. FML

#21432396
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26138) - you deserved it (2480)

On 06/26/2015 at 4:08pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML

#21431146
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27386) - you deserved it (1566)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:10pm - misc - by zaynemaliksvagina (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my husband let my 8-year-old twins play with handcuffs. I thought my husband was pretending he had lost the key but after 4 hours, he walked in with his head down and said, "I've made a terrible mistake honey." FML

#21429657
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25214) - you deserved it (2068)

On 06/21/2015 at 5:37pm - kids - by hfs palm - United States

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26565) - you deserved it (6037)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML

#21424815
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25771) - you deserved it (1776)

On 06/12/2015 at 1:35am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got kicked out of McDonalds for "skating" on the floor. The skating was actually me slipping on the wet floor and smacking my head into a table then getting bitched at for leaving blood on the floor. FML

#21420967
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31550) - you deserved it (2296)

On 06/04/2015 at 11:01pm - misc - by jared576 -

Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML

#21413444
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22871) - you deserved it (10312)

On 05/21/2015 at 8:22am - health - by crossfitter -



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