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FML with : pot

Number of results : 441

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25236) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, the waste disposal truck managed to tip over a portapotty on our work site, causing the contents to overflow and run down the bank towards my portakabin office, where someone had left the door open. All my money, ID and my car keys are now shut off to me by a river of shit. FML

#21441443
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24300) - you deserved it (1643)

On 07/14/2015 at 8:00am - work - by mississpissi (woman) - United Kingdom (Slough)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend standing at the end of the bed staring at a large wet spot. Boy do I know how to pick 'em! FML

#21439963
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21477) - you deserved it (2885)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:44am - misc - by annoyedgf -

Today, I spent more time driving to my vacation spot than actually vacationing. FML

#21438049
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21055) - you deserved it (3826)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:43pm - misc - by Hue - United States

Today, after parking in the handicapped spot of a lot with my placard, an older couple with their 7-year-old grandchild came up and yelled at me for being a lying asshole and taking the parking spot. When I showed them my prosthetic leg, the kid started crying and guess who got yelled at again. FML

#21430208
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29591) - you deserved it (1262)

On 06/22/2015 at 4:46pm - health - by ICanExplain - United States (California)

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25720) - you deserved it (1832)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I worked in a shoe store. As I was removing the shoes off an older man I felt a squish, and pulled back my hand to see brown and yellow. The man then looked at me and said, "Looks like I missed a spot." Dog crap. FML

#21423738
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23398) - you deserved it (1547)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:25am - work - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

#21421959
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25146) - you deserved it (2234)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:17pm - kids - by diapersplease (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up in my living room after having a party. I then realized my fish tank with many different species was missing from its usual spot. After searching for a few minutes, I finally found it in the freezer. FML

#21415477
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27139) - you deserved it (7412)

On 05/25/2015 at 12:10pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30870) - you deserved it (2662)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25733) - you deserved it (1858)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16866) - you deserved it (42440)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I used an air freshener in my room to make it smell good. At first, the smell was pretty pleasant. However, by the time it'd "soaked in" it smelled just like weed. My whole room stinks of it, and now my mum is convinced I've been smoking pot in my room. FML

#21387075
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25781) - you deserved it (3562)

On 04/03/2015 at 3:05pm - misc - by HtotheFtotheS - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out that my friend's family has been using red paper to help his little brother with his potty training. "Aim for the red!" they would say to him. I guess today was a bad day to wear red pants. FML

#21381127
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27763) - you deserved it (2397)

On 03/25/2015 at 2:26am - kids - by ILoveLamps (man) - Canada (Alberta)



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