FML with : naked

Number of results : 335

Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML

by Sammmmi / 06/22/2016 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend was extremely angry. He found a naked photograph of me online that he thought I'd been sending to other guys. It wasn't me. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2016 at 3:32am / United Kingdom / Geek

Today, a woman kindly asked if she might take a photo of her son in our cowboy boots. Thinking it couldn't do much harm, I agreed. Ten minutes later there was a butt naked three year-old and his entire family taking pictures in my shoe store. My manager wasn't impressed. FML

by jasonvanr / 05/10/2016 at 4:19am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, after a 14-mile bike tour in Chicago, I got rug burn on my inner thighs. Having the hostel room all by myself for the last couple of days, I got naked and let the air conditioner cool me off. I then had to explain to my roommate that walked in on me that I seriously was not jerking off. FML

by ImilkedYourMom / 05/03/2016 at 9:31am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, some random guy decided to wake me up at 5.30am by yelling outside my window. I opened the window and told him to knock it off before going back to bed. It took a good 3 minutes of his laughter before I realised I was naked and he got a close up view of my breasts. FML

Today, my husband and his best mate got drunk and decided it would be a good idea to try hitchhike naked for a joke. Although no one was willing to pick up two naked 28 year old-men off the side of the main road, someone did call the cops. They are being held overnight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2016 at 5:17am / New Zealand / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom called me a slut after she found out I sleep naked. This is how desperate she is for any excuse to yell at me. FML

by yova / 03/27/2016 at 4:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a lot of complaints from other members, I told an old lady at the gym I work at that she couldn't sit in the sauna naked. She responded by grabbing her boobs and shaking them in my face. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

by rapunzel3416 / 03/14/2016 at 2:31am / United States (California) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

by nullroute / 02/16/2016 at 6:34am / Switzerland (Aargau) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

by weirdoe / 02/07/2016 at 4:17am / Italy (Sicilia) / Intimacy

Today, I accidentally walked in on my sister shaving, naked. I don't know what's worse, the fact I've now seen her nude, or that she looks ten times better than any girl I've ever slept with. FML

by Anonymous / 01/31/2016 at 4:33am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML

by guessthatsatrickthen / 10/31/2015 at 1:19pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my living room to find my housemate sitting on the couch, bollock naked, trimming his pubes with scissors. He's surprised I have an issue with this. FML

by WellGroomed / 10/22/2015 at 9:19pm / New Zealand (Waikato) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I lost our virginity to one another. He then did a naked victory lap around his dad's house, blasting Akon's "I Just Had Sex" at full volume. He's legally an adult. FML

by Anonymous / 09/24/2015 at 1:07pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I had sex with this guy. His dad came upstairs and poked his head through the door right after we had finished, but were still naked in bed. All he said was, "No twins," and walked off. FML

by Doesn't Matter Had Sex / 09/08/2015 at 10:37pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy