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FML with : poop

Number of results : 105

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20759) - you deserved it (1416)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28772) - you deserved it (3551)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (3655)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24412) - you deserved it (1615)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26404) - you deserved it (4166)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (1802)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

#21402171
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25279) - you deserved it (2259) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm - animals - by morphea - France (Bretagne)

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23748) - you deserved it (1846)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

#21390484
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28235) - you deserved it (7097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2015 at 1:28am - kids - by Insanity - France (Centre)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29106) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30783) - you deserved it (2674)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30014) - you deserved it (2673)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

#21355144
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33914) - you deserved it (3168) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/13/2015 at 1:44am - love - by lilipalmer (woman) - France



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