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FML with : poop

Number of results : 102

Today, whilst still trying to potty train my puppy and keep her from both peeing and pooping in the house, my lactose intolerance kicked in full fledge. Every time I pass gas, she smells poop and believes it's okay to immediately drop a deuce on the carpet. FML

#21441958
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25256) - you deserved it (3440)

On 07/15/2015 at 7:15am - animals - by gassy - United States (Florida)

Today, my 3-year-old pooped his pants in a public bathroom. As I was squatting down, doing my best to clean poop off of his legs and the floor, a wasp flew up my pant leg. I was stung four times before I danced it out of my pants. FML

#21433955
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23948) - you deserved it (1477)

On 06/29/2015 at 5:52pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my brother changed my Google+ name without asking. He has done this before and I fixed it by just changing it back. Turns out Google has a 3-time limit per year for how many times you can change your name. Now I'm stuck with "Poop" for my YouTube name for a year. FML

#21412861
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26385) - you deserved it (4162)

On 05/20/2015 at 1:34am - misc - by KittKatt (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had an outdoor meeting with some important clients. It wasn't until the meeting was over that my coworker decided to inform me that I had bird poop in my hair "pretty much the entire time." FML

#21411568
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25091) - you deserved it (1799)

On 05/17/2015 at 5:27pm - work - by lily_marleen (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, a passing by bird managed to poop through my car's sunroof and onto the center console. FML

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

#21402171
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (2259) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/29/2015 at 6:54pm - animals - by morphea - France (Bretagne)

Today, I had to explain to my 23-year-old female friend that when I get my hysterectomy, I will still be able to poop. FML

#21398063
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23725) - you deserved it (1846)

On 04/22/2015 at 5:46pm - health - by biomajor99 - United States (New York)

Today, I managed to get my 4-year-old son to agree that, "cigarettes are poop." I was a lot less proud of myself when he pointed at a 6-foot bodybuilder-type dude in the subway and yelled, "That man smells of pooooooop." FML

#21390484
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28211) - you deserved it (7097) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2015 at 1:28am - kids - by Insanity - France (Centre)

Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (2321)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29720) - you deserved it (2443)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, the doctor let me know I have an autoimmune disease. The disease results in ulcers in my colon which bleed when I poop. I cried, but only when I was told that I wouldn't be allowed to eat cheese anymore. FML

#21364143
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29996) - you deserved it (2672)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:20pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

#21355144
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33536) - you deserved it (3134) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/13/2015 at 1:44am - love - by lilipalmer (woman) - France

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

#21318557
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31428) - you deserved it (7461)

On 12/16/2014 at 2:26pm - misc - by privatebathroomneeded - United States (California)

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33029) - you deserved it (4245)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31282) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)



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