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FML with : spider

Number of results : 120

Today, my son wanted to be Spiderman. He found the biggest spider he could outside and let it bite his hand. He's staying overnight in the hospital. FML

#21522558
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21581) - you deserved it (2054)

On 02/03/2016 at 9:04pm - kids - by Spooderman (woman) - United States

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

#21514228
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16882) - you deserved it (5018)

On 01/12/2016 at 5:48am - animals - by mutantprincess - Australia

Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML

#21489841
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20541) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/08/2015 at 5:03am - animals - by Geemeisters - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, there was a huge spider on my ceiling, so I grabbed a shoe to deal with it. Just as I jumped up to smush it, my idiot brother flicked the light off. I missed the spider, but it didn't miss my face as the impact caused it to fall. FML

#21486828
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21986) - you deserved it (2469)

On 11/01/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by lacsmac2 - Australia

Today, as I was changing my sheets, I found a huge spider under my pillow. My 10 year old sister had to get rid of it for me. FML

#21478464
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20215) - you deserved it (5666)

On 10/11/2015 at 12:10am - animals - by NotASpiderMan - United States (Washington)

 Today, while babysitting my nephew, I was looking through a bin of toys, and I saw a fake spider. I picked it up to do a prank with. It wasn't fake. FML

#21478450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22193) - you deserved it (5370)

On 10/10/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (California)

Today, I walked face first into a near-invisible spiderweb. There's nothing worse than the feeling of a spider web wrapped around your face. Except maybe the feeling of the spider that saw my screaming mouth as a good hiding spot. FML

#21470809
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23400) - you deserved it (2004)

On 09/20/2015 at 11:00pm - animals - by spiderlady - United States

Today, I was having a relaxing "wank", as they might say on Doctor Who, when a large spider descended from its web and came practically eye-to-eye with me. I screamed like a bitch and fell off my bed, pants around my ankles. Then my sister ran in to see what was wrong. FML

#21464688
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22525) - you deserved it (8493)

On 09/04/2015 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (8695)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

#21453669
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25940) - you deserved it (2290)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by terrified (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was relaxing in bed with an arm kind of behind my head, when I noticed a huge spider resting on my armpit. My sister said my screaming sounded like a "witch being burned to death" for all of 5 seconds before I realized the "spider" was just my armpit hair. FML

#21449022
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (10060)

On 07/29/2015 at 10:41am - misc - by fack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a dream about a giant spider crawling around in my mouth. I woke up to find that dreams sometimes do come true. FML

#21445902
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (1863)

On 07/23/2015 at 9:05am - animals - by dirtbikeguy (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wore a sleeveless shirt for the first time in years, when I glimpsed something on my shoulder that looked like a spider. I let out a scream that sounded like a donkey having a stroke and flailed my arms. Then I realized it was my tattoo, and that I was freaking out everyone on the bus. FML

#21427542
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (12297)

On 06/17/2015 at 11:41am - misc - by HURP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (23907)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (5992)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia



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