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FML with : baby

Number of results : 310

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed hysterically. FML

#21108537
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19381) - you deserved it (32903)

On 04/09/2014 at 1:50pm - love - by BabyButt - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML

#21105190
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38700) - you deserved it (11719)

On 04/05/2014 at 1:48pm - work - by =( (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35756) - you deserved it (13725)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I'm eight months pregnant with my second child. My 18-month-old son loves to watch my belly move when his baby brother moves. And then loves to smack my belly. It's going to be a long eighteen years. FML

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51233) - you deserved it (5869)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39844) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife and I were watching a football game. While someone was about to score, she started screaming, "Go!" and "Come on! You can do it! Go baby, go!" My first thought was that I wished I could still make her scream like that. FML

#21026614
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46855) - you deserved it (9151)

On 01/13/2014 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I joked with a pregnant girl in a state juvenile correctional facility where I work that eating a lot of candy would damage the unborn baby's teeth. Without batting an eye, she responded that she would simply "eat some toothpaste after the candy." FML

Today, I was at a baby shower with my wife. I went to go outside for some fresh air, but walked straight into their glass sliding door. Everyone stared at me. I smiled with embarrassment and walked back over to my wife, only to trip over my own feet and faceplant the floor. FML

#21018030
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49410) - you deserved it (6101)

On 01/05/2014 at 4:45pm - health - by stillhurting (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

#21015236
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (4605)

On 01/03/2014 at 6:03am - kids - by noway (man) - France (Pays de la Loire)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36725) - you deserved it (3649)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, my cat has figured out that while I'm good at sleeping through her nagging in the early morning hours, I will unfailingly wake up for my baby. FML

Today, my mother gave me a bottle of stool softeners as a gift at my baby shower. FML

#20961774
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30497) - you deserved it (3110)

On 11/18/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by kb (woman) - United States

Today, my wife ate nothing all day due to her morning sickness, but I tried to get her to eat something light, for our baby's sake. I brought her a banana. She yelled at me for being a "pervert" and accused me of just wanting to watch her stick a phallic object in her mouth. FML

#20935582
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42366) - you deserved it (4744)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)



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