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FML with : blowjob

Number of results : 62

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18348) - you deserved it (6446)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob. It felt like she was skinning my dick alive with her teeth. I had to pretend to finish myself off in the bathroom and tell her it was because I didn't want her to have to swallow. FML

#21509335
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23258) - you deserved it (4807)

On 12/30/2015 at 10:21am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my wife knelt down in front me to give me a blowjob. As she took my underwear off a moth flew out of them. I've got no idea how it got there but I was cock-blocked by a moth. FML

#21503854
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25995) - you deserved it (5454)

On 12/14/2015 at 11:50pm - intimacy - by Moth_Balled (man) - Australia

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

#21499606
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23433) - you deserved it (3460)

On 12/03/2015 at 7:52am - intimacy - by snortingspunk (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boyfriend rather stupidly assumed that because my vagina is no longer in use after giving birth, we would automatically start having anal sex. After I loudly explained how that wasn't happening, he then had the nerve to ask for a blowjob before we'd even left the hospital. FML

#21491812
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26140) - you deserved it (3586)

On 11/12/2015 at 7:00pm - health - by anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

#21489306
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22135) - you deserved it (5546)

On 11/06/2015 at 5:39pm - misc - by honk honk, fuckwad (man) - United States (California)

Today, I let my 9-year-old daughter use my tablet while I made her dinner. A few minutes later, she let out a blood-curdling scream. Turned out she'd searched for My Little Pony pictures and stumbled upon a drawing of Rainbow Dash giving another pony a blowjob. FML

#21463707
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26918) - you deserved it (4693)

On 09/02/2015 at 11:26am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my brother said he was cleaning his room. When I walked in, he was giving my cousin a blowjob. FML

#21462259
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29817) - you deserved it (2773)

On 08/29/2015 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my current boyfriend was so impressed by my blowjob abilities he sent my ex-boyfriend a message saying thanks. FML

#21454601
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29472) - you deserved it (5955)

On 08/11/2015 at 12:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous -

Today, I just found my husband on Craigslist. He's working away from home, and he's looking to give a blowjob. FML

#21449578
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30051) - you deserved it (2726)

On 07/30/2015 at 3:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31399) - you deserved it (2660)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (2859)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33609) - you deserved it (14042)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29722) - you deserved it (7029)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, for my birthday, my boyfriend made me a coupon book. I thought it was sweet until I noticed they were all conditional. For example; "Give your boyfriend a blowjob and he'll give you a 10 minute back massage!". They're all like that and he's mad because I refuse to use them. FML

#21417382
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32137) - you deserved it (3605)

On 05/28/2015 at 11:39pm - intimacy - by shmoooopie (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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