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FML with : blowjob

Number of results : 47

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18188) - you deserved it (34343)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

#21406233
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31459) - you deserved it (5278)

On 05/07/2015 at 2:00pm - intimacy - by pleasedie - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28179) - you deserved it (3381)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML

#21361029
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33712) - you deserved it (3861)

On 02/22/2015 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by bugger -

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30589) - you deserved it (6397)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my wife was giving me a blowjob when I foolishly asked her how she got so good at giving them. She looked straight into my eyes and replied, "Practising on about six guys before you." FML

#21308641
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31313) - you deserved it (18307)

On 11/30/2014 at 8:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob. I was laying in between his legs because it's just more comfortable. I looked down, and he had pieces of toilet paper sticking out of his butt cheeks. FML

#21291810
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44363) - you deserved it (6606)

On 11/04/2014 at 7:03am - intimacy - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I finally felt ready to give my boyfriend a blowjob. Barely 20 seconds in, he said: "I'll be honest, this is TERRIBLE." FML

#21285558
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40439) - you deserved it (8707)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:25am - intimacy - by soisblueballsdickhead (woman) - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he could finally go down on me. He said, "No, that's disgusting" and then asked me for a blowjob. FML

#21207695
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58452) - you deserved it (7245)

On 07/13/2014 at 3:46am - intimacy - by NoSexForMe (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling frisky and asked my boyfriend if he wanted a blowjob. He said "Fuck no", then rolled over to go to sleep. FML

#21182128
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50786) - you deserved it (8729)

On 06/20/2014 at 5:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56701) - you deserved it (9097)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, my boyfriend was watching TV, when we started getting frisky. I'd just started to give him a blowjob when he pushed me off and said, "Fun's over." Dragon Ball Z had just come back on. He's 21. FML

#20632729
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59056) - you deserved it (15499)

On 04/30/2013 at 1:35pm - intimacy - by SecondBest,IGuess (woman) - United States

Today, my husband tried to haggle a blowjob out of me in exchange for taking his first shower in nearly two weeks. FML

#20605100
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43116) - you deserved it (6766)

On 04/19/2013 at 2:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend, whom I haven't heard from in a whole month, turned up at my door because it was apparently "steak and blowjob day." FML

#20543142
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46327) - you deserved it (8065)

On 03/14/2013 at 5:02am - intimacy - by howaboutno (woman) - United States

Today, I was giving my guy a blowjob. When he blurted out, "Oh Jesus" I assumed I was doing a good job. I looked up to see the expression on his face and noticed a look of terror. He was staring at my growling cat, two seconds away from clawing his face off. FML

#20514475
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39563) - you deserved it (5561)

On 02/20/2013 at 1:55am - intimacy - by jealouspussy (woman) - United States (California)



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