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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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FML with : fml

Number of results : 29560

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9020) - you deserved it (639)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9003) - you deserved it (736)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14242) - you deserved it (853)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14726) - you deserved it (2379)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13271) - you deserved it (2962)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6027) - you deserved it (19808)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18937) - you deserved it (2911)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18164) - you deserved it (10496)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21175) - you deserved it (2216)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, my stomach started to hurt. When I got home, my parents had company over, which I had to rush past to use the bathroom. After being in the bathroom for about 3 minutes, my mother yells to me from the other room, in front of the guests, "Are you OK in there?" I'm 27. FML

#21382322
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19718) - you deserved it (2670)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:12am - misc - by struckbystarzz (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML

#21382277
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21896) - you deserved it (2760)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:51am - work - by mareecasellafml (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I woke up, I got into the bath that my boyfriend had prepared for me. I particularly appreciated its smell, so I asked him what he'd used. "I couldn't find the usual bath salts you use, so I just used what I could." It's official, I've taken a Alka-Seltzer flavored bath. FML

#21382383
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19052) - you deserved it (2125) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/27/2015 at 5:50am - love - by Anonyme - France (Bretagne)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21605) - you deserved it (1902)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)



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