FML with : sex

Number of results : 1724

Today, during sex, I somehow sneezed hard enough to really hurt my neck and shoulder. But don't worry, writhing in pain doesn't ruin the mood. My boyfriend just kept going. FML

by Anonymous / 12/08/2016 at 9:53am / Intimacy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral sex when he pulled away without warning. As I looked up at him to see what was wrong, he screamed "JUSTICE RAINS FROM ABOVE!" and shot his load in my eyes. FML

by Junkrat / 12/08/2016 at 8:32am / Intimacy

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

by alison89430 / 12/05/2016 at 5:35pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex in the same bed my dog pooped in because we were both too polite to ask the other person why they smelt like shit. FML

by Anonymous / 12/05/2016 at 1:22pm / Intimacy

Today, the guy I've been dating for 3 months told me he doesn't know how he feels about me because he's not excited when we meet and doesn't miss me when we don't text for a while. He decides to tell me this while we're laying in bed right after having sex for the first time. FML

by Her / 12/05/2016 at 12:01pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend turned out to be a moron. Although he loves anal porn, he says gay sex is revolting. His reasoning? Because guys poop out of their buttholes. Apparently women don't. FML

by _kristaaxo / 11/21/2016 at 4:24am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I met up with my boyfriend early before work to have some "fun time". We hadn't had sex in a while and decided to try it doggy style, up against the wall. We had been doing it for about 15 minutes until he abruptly stopped and said, "I don't know if it's in." It was. FML

by thisisstupid_17 / 11/16/2016 at 9:47am / Intimacy

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, 'But aren't we just friends?' We then sat and watched TV. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2016 at 4:20am / Intimacy

Today, my ex-girlfriend from several years ago texted me. We were having a pleasant conversation until she asked me to give advice. Apparently, her current boyfriend is incapable of talking dirty, fingering, and other sexual aspects. She asked me to give him advice and pointers. FML

by KnowledgableEx / 11/10/2016 at 7:42am / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I finally had the house to ourselves, so we had unusually loud sex. Banging bed, yelling obscenities, super rowdy, etc. I then see my mother-in-law out the window. She had let herself in, dropped off a bag and apparently ran out. Thanksgiving is going to be weird. FML

by daughter in law / 11/08/2016 at 1:05am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my roommate having sex in my bed because hers is ,"reserved for sleeping only". FML

by Arizonagirl / 11/06/2016 at 2:31am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, after weeks of being addicted to Bejeweled Blitz, I couldn't stop thinking about it while having sex with my girlfriend. FML

by BejeweledJizz / 11/05/2016 at 8:29am / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

by Wheresthecreamfilling / 11/03/2016 at 2:03am / Intimacy

Today, after having surgery and told not to have sex for two weeks, I've been begging my boyfriend to allow me to give him a blowjob, trying to be nice. He doesn't want to because he can't reciprocate. Not only has not having sex drove me insane, so is not being able to touch my boyfriend. FML

by Anonymous / 11/01/2016 at 2:25am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I fell asleep twice during sex. FML

by bandeek / 10/23/2016 at 2:52pm / Intimacy