Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : sex

Number of results : 1496

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (2148)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26278) - you deserved it (2781)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm stuck in a taxi cab while the driver listens to a radio show about sex fetishes. Can't wait to look him in the eye as I pay him. FML

#21365302
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23313) - you deserved it (2254)

On 02/28/2015 at 2:53pm - misc - by jojolee68 (woman) - United States

Today, my mother confused the terms 'necromancy' and 'necrophilia'. We had a great talk about why you shouldn't have sex with dead people. FML

#21364935
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24144) - you deserved it (2289)

On 02/27/2015 at 11:14pm - misc - by bobjope -

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

#21364648
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26036) - you deserved it (2966)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML

#21364342
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27503) - you deserved it (5099)

On 02/27/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by milked (woman) - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

#21363391
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27581) - you deserved it (3167)

On 02/25/2015 at 4:39pm - intimacy - by Fuck - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. I'm extremely uncomfortable with eye contact, but he kept staring into my eyes the entire time. I had to sing the F.U.N. song from Spongebob in my head to stop myself having an anxiety attack. FML

#21356336
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34912) - you deserved it (4932)

On 02/14/2015 at 10:41pm - intimacy - by jessybear777 - United States (Missouri)

Today, I had to fall asleep to my next-door neighbors having sex because our walls are paper thin. What bothered me the most wasn't listening to them doing it, but knowing that she was faking it. FML

#21354562
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31586) - you deserved it (2752)

On 02/12/2015 at 2:39am - intimacy - by Mkimmi (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a cute girl was telling me about her weird fetishes. I jokingly said, "Remind me never to have sex with you". She replied, "Don't worry, I have standards". FML

#21353290
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28331) - you deserved it (17682)

On 02/10/2015 at 9:51am - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, it's been about a week since my boyfriend started his new medication, which has essentially killed any sex drive he had. It has also been about two weeks since I stopped mine, making me hornier than ever. FML

#21352626
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33624) - you deserved it (3481)

On 02/09/2015 at 8:32am - intimacy - by myself - United States

Today, I figured out how my birth control works. If you're on your period for four months straight you can't have sex, so you won't be pregnant. FML

#21351947
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33543) - you deserved it (3408)

On 02/08/2015 at 5:26am - health - by irwingiggles (woman) - Netherlands

Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend made me breakfast in bed, then we went out shopping, had a picnic, watched a good romcom, had a fancy dinner, and ended the day with great sex. And when the clock struck twelve, he dumped me. FML

#21351571
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (2739)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, hours after being turned down for sex, I woke up to my boyfriend sitting at the computer, jacking off to a picture of my deceased mom. FML

#21351381
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46159) - you deserved it (3757)

On 02/07/2015 at 6:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: