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FML with : car

Number of results : 2914

Today, I lost a book. I'd used my credit card as a bookmark. FML

#21415900
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9790) - you deserved it (31808)

On 05/26/2015 at 2:54am - money - by stupid (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of my regulars came up to my car in the parking lot. We talked through the window while I put on my makeup. He then asked for a hug because he won't be in for two weeks. I obliged and he was kind enough to slide his hand between my legs. He then gave me $50 not to tell his wife. FML

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14602) - you deserved it (20007)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I backed into an expensive SUV only minutes after my boss congratulated me for being the only employee to not wreck a company car. FML

#21413424
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (4574)

On 05/21/2015 at 6:48am - work - by pgmonster - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to my roommates "pet" snake casually lying in bed with me. I then got yelled at for screaming and scaring the snake. Apparently, it's my fault that it bit my chin. FML

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

#21412233
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25228) - you deserved it (6304)

On 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, one of my idiot co-workers thought it'd be hilarious to "fix" my car while I was working. Now every time I step on the brake pedal, the horn goes off. FML

#21412007
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27738) - you deserved it (2290)

On 05/18/2015 at 2:41pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a real, erect penis for the first time. My brother's, while he was jerking off. He doesn't know I saw, because he was holding a pair of panties over his face with his other hand. I'm trying like hell to act like I'm not mentally scarred. FML

#21411971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30303) - you deserved it (2913)

On 05/18/2015 at 12:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, I got my driver's license. My dad made multiple copies of his insurance cards for me to give to people when I inevitably hit them. Because "Let's face it." FML

Today, I caught my ex trying to slash my car tires with a knife. She actually had the balls to claim she was testing my tire pressure, before power-walking off into the distance like nothing had happened. FML

#21410715
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27429) - you deserved it (2352)

On 05/15/2015 at 9:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, some genius shot through a red light, hitting my car and nearly killing me. When I went to ask if he was okay, the first words out of his mouth were "I hope you have insurance". FML

#21410548
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29423) - you deserved it (1826)

On 05/15/2015 at 2:48pm - misc - by hendrixisgod86 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my little cousin was helping me wash my car. After scrubbing all the dirt, I gave him the hose and said, "Okay, now rinse off this disgusting thing." He turned the hose on me. FML

#21409816
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23607) - you deserved it (5792)

On 05/14/2015 at 12:26am - kids - by ptarr12345 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML

#21409756
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27236) - you deserved it (1805)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm - work - by iamgodzilla (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I stuck my hand out the car window and noticed my arm fat flapping in the wind. FML

#21409639
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22786) - you deserved it (9079)

On 05/13/2015 at 7:19pm - health - by windthroughmyflab - United States



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