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FML with : car

Number of results : 2873

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML

#21395171
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (2684)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:27am - health - by Mitchellbassists (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my 2 year old to the potty in a public restroom. I was just about to set her on the toilet when the automatic flush went off, scaring her and causing her to pee all over both of us. FML

#21394708
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23589) - you deserved it (1930)

On 04/16/2015 at 2:36pm - kids - by klutz44 - United States (Illinois)

Today, my roommate wants to kick me out because I can't afford to pay my share of the rent this month. I couldn't afford to, because I had to pay for repairs to my car after my roommate got drunk, stole my keys, and crashed it into a street light. FML

#21394027
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30469) - you deserved it (2283)

On 04/15/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26393) - you deserved it (3019)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (3277)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I ran into the woman who hit my car and drove off three days ago. She was my bank teller. I called 911; she pressed the silent alarm. Guess whose story the cops believed. FML

#21392789
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32273) - you deserved it (2237)

On 04/13/2015 at 5:00am - misc - by yupthissucks - United States (Georgia)

Today, I decided to do a good bit of spring cleaning. When my apartment was finally spotless I went to lie down. I woke up later to find my drunk flatmate passed out in a puddle of her own puke on the living room's carpet. FML

#21391444
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24818) - you deserved it (1839)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:03pm - misc - by pukeytimes - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a guy tried to carjack me. Good news: I drive a stick shift, and the idiot apparently couldn't, so I still have my car. Bad news: he was so angry, he beat the shit out of me. I had to get stitches, and now I look like I went on a date with Chris Brown. FML

#21391293
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29974) - you deserved it (2111)

On 04/10/2015 at 2:04pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, someone lost a support beam on the highway. My car found it. FML

Today, I went driving for the first time with my mom. When she wasn't screaming, she gave great advice like, "Stop at the red light" and "Don't crash into cars". I need to drive 50 hours with her. FML

#21390568
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26180) - you deserved it (2209)

On 04/09/2015 at 10:03am - misc - by fedupson - United States (California)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18697) - you deserved it (15107)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16396) - you deserved it (30820)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got hit by a car. Not a real one, though; my sister thought it would be funny to take her RC car and smash it over my head as hard as she could. FML

Today, I found out my car needs an oil change. I had to listen the warning alert beep for over 200 miles. FML



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