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FML with : car

Number of results : 2838

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17831) - you deserved it (5889)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was expecting a card from my husband stationed in Japan, but he mailed it to my mom. Since I'm busy and don't see her much, she tried to help by mailing it to me. It's long overdue, and the post office never got it. The card came from Japan, only to get lost traveling from 30 minutes away. FML

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (2023)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I moved to a big city, alone, from a small town. After convincing myself it wasn't that scary, I hailed my first cab. The driver spent the 30 minute ride from the airport telling me about how "sometimes, you just gotta shoot a guy" because if they steal your shoes, they deserve it. FML

#21366058
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25261) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/01/2015 at 6:22pm - misc - by smalltownkid - United States (Texas)

Today, I got really anxious thinking I was going to piss off the guy behind me by not moving off at a stop light fast enough. It got so bad that I had a panic attack right there in my car. FML

#21361075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26084) - you deserved it (6230)

On 02/22/2015 at 1:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27920) - you deserved it (3741)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

#21359968
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (6121)

On 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37768) - you deserved it (3286)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to an ATM intending to withdraw $150. I approached the machine, inserted my card, typed in my pin and followed the prompts. When my card came out, I removed it, put it in my pocket and drove off. FML

Today, I accidentally crashed my mom's car into my dad's car. FML

#21357430
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30683) - you deserved it (12015)

On 02/16/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by cactii - United States

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39315) - you deserved it (2037)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my grandma rushed into my work and told my manager I had to leave due to a family emergency. Panicked, I ran to get my stuff and ran to the car. When I asked what had happened, she replied, "I needed someone to go see 50 Shades of Grey with me." FML

#21355550
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33071) - you deserved it (3379)

On 02/13/2015 at 8:27pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my "best friend" stole almost $1,000 worth of electronics and video games from my roommates and me, just so he could pawn them off and buy himself a new car stereo. FML

#21355305
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30120) - you deserved it (2630)

On 02/13/2015 at 11:36am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I awoke after 4 hours of surgery. The male nurse taking care of me is cute, very cute. I'm trying my best to seem fine and dandy when he tells me that I can't eat anything before my next poop, adding, "And don't flush it, OK? I need to check." FML

#21355144
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31080) - you deserved it (2704) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/13/2015 at 1:44am - love - by lilipalmer (woman) - France

Today, my caring way too much about proper grammar got out of hand when I corrected my girlfriend during a talk about her dying grandmother. FML

#21353788
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15750) - you deserved it (33808)

On 02/10/2015 at 11:58pm - misc - by randomdude3890 - United States (Nebraska)



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