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FML with : boyfriend

Number of results : 4058

Today, I read my 10-year-old sister's diary. That's how I found out about her disturbingly detailed plan to murder me, make it look like suicide, date my boyfriend after helping him get over my death, then marry him. FML

#21395572
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18485) - you deserved it (2328)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:01am - kids - by Anonymus (woman) - Sweden

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

Today, after a discussion, my boyfriend said, "I think it's time you found somebody better." After I gave him a look, he continued, "For me." FML

#21394512
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23800) - you deserved it (2082)

On 04/16/2015 at 3:59am - love - by Marona (woman) - Croatia (Grad Zagreb)

Today, the only way I can get my boyfriend to do anything is by telling him it's a turn on. FML

#21392608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24723) - you deserved it (3281)

On 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he's prepared to commit to marriage, but only if I buy my own ring and tell everyone he surprised me with it. FML

#21391357
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (3036)

On 04/10/2015 at 4:19pm - love - by undanya__four (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I got a 'Good Morning' text from my boyfriend. Since I hadn't gotten one of those in a while, I thought it was rather nice. That is, until I saw the picture that accompanied it. It was of him, sitting on the toilet and taking a shit. FML

#21390594
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26263) - you deserved it (3194)

On 04/09/2015 at 11:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. He was about to make me come so I lifted my arm above my head with pleasure. I accidently punched him in the eye, hard enough that he had to stop for a while because he said he felt dizzy. FML

#21390086
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26182) - you deserved it (6811)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by righthook - United States

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend repeatedly whispering in my ear, "You want to give me a blowjob". Yes, he actually thought it would work. FML

#21389410
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26896) - you deserved it (3318)

On 04/07/2015 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I forgot my boyfriend was allergic to nuts and ate Nutella toast before he arrived. He had just brought me flowers for doing well in an exam and I kissed him. He had a reaction and I had to stab him in the leg. FML

#21388685
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29390) - you deserved it (8895)

On 04/06/2015 at 3:38pm - love - by rhunter17 -

Today, my boyfriend made me breakfast because I had a cold. Because my nose was so stuffed, I couldn't tell that our milk had gone bad. I had two cups. And now I'm stuck on the toilet. FML

#21387562
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (2904)

On 04/04/2015 at 2:23pm - misc - by n - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28085) - you deserved it (3646)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, things got heated with my boyfriend for the first time. Turns out he's even more inexperienced than I thought; when I started grinding against him, he frowned and said, "Um... why're you doing that? We've still got clothes on..." FML

#21387249
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28463) - you deserved it (3236)

On 04/03/2015 at 9:57pm - intimacy - by lameows - United States

Today, I was shopping with my boyfriend when we came across the most beautiful piece of Japanese furniture. When I inspected it closely, my boyfriend started laughing. Turns out I was making the same noise I make when I orgasm in reaction to a piece of furniture. FML

#21386402
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25203) - you deserved it (4139)

On 04/02/2015 at 8:20am - misc - by Repethetic (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28984) - you deserved it (3178)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after recently quitting a terrible job which made me miserable, I went to my first work meeting at my new job. I was excited to start fresh and meet my new coworkers. Instead, I met my boyfriend's extremely jealous ex-girlfriend. She didn't look excited to see me. FML

#21383954
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27654) - you deserved it (1835)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:06am - work - by kitkat3308 - United States (Missouri)



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