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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2634

Today, I asked my class to name some West African countries. Several of them thought Ebola was a country. I teach an AP history class. FML

#21400396
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20705) - you deserved it (2088)

On 04/27/2015 at 12:58am - work - by advanced history teacher (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while out walking with my son in a stroller, a couple passed by and the girl smiled sweetly at him. It made me really happy, until we passed and I heard her say "What? You're supposed to smile at babies, even if they look weird." FML

#21399622
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (1880)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while getting ice cream with a friend, her car got broken into. Nothing was taken except my backpack, which contained assignments making up 50% or more for grades in four separate classes. FML

#21399187
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26720) - you deserved it (2186)

On 04/24/2015 at 7:58pm - misc - by Caroline1812 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25072) - you deserved it (5003)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, teachers were pulling students out of class to announce valedictorian, salutatorian, and other awards for graduation. I got pulled out of class by one of them, and I got a little excited since I wasn't expecting an award. It was to tell me that my sister was staying after school. FML

Today, I asked my classmate to look over my essay. His comments were longer than the essay itself. FML

#21398217
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23165) - you deserved it (4816)

On 04/22/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by englishornah (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had to have a cervical biopsy. The doctor said I would feel slight cramping as she scraped cells from inside the cervix. I guess by "slight cramping" she meant I would shit, throw up, and then pass out. FML

#21395495
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30078) - you deserved it (1948)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:15pm - health - by khaoslife - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tripped while rushing to my classes. In a desperate attempt to regain my balance, I grabbed the nearest thing to me. A fire alarm. FML

#21394235
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28025) - you deserved it (3326)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:12pm - misc - by Drill Drilled - United States (California)

Today, my 3-year-old broke his glasses, clogged the toilet with Hot Wheel cars, and covered the whole house with Cheerios. All in a matter of roughly 6 minutes while I was putting laundry away. FML

#21393865
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29710) - you deserved it (3322)

On 04/15/2015 at 12:17am - kids - by mommylife (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a massage. Just as I was starting to relax, the massage therapist drooled on my face. FML

#21393655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28074) - you deserved it (1823)

On 04/14/2015 at 5:50pm - misc - by spitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I decided to be healthy and make a fresh juice out of carrots and apples. Apparently, something had gone bad and now my asshole feels like a bomb just went off inside it. Good start to a healthy lifestyle. FML

#21393477
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25108) - you deserved it (3563)

On 04/14/2015 at 11:08am - health - by howaboutthemcarrots - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, a little girl from my Sunday School class approached me and told me she had a stomach ache. She seemed very upset and her face was discolored so I took her to the nurse. While we were walking out the door, I looked down and saw a half-eaten crayon on the floor. That'll do it. FML

#21392424
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24011) - you deserved it (1876)

On 04/12/2015 at 3:49pm - health - by drewcaver - United States (Texas)

Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML

#21392030
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30504) - you deserved it (2298)

On 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm - misc - by scared4myhair - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27966) - you deserved it (16556)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got grounded because my mom found a condom in the bathroom trashcan and assumed it was mine. I took the blame because I was too embarrassed to admit that it must have belonged to my 13-year-old brother, since I'm still a virgin at 19. FML

#21391452
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30170) - you deserved it (4646)

On 04/10/2015 at 7:16pm - misc - by uglybrother (man) - United States (Texas)



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