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FML with : ass

Number of results : 2597

Today, I broke my leg. My mom told me I still have to go to tennis class tomorrow because the course isn't refundable. FML

#21364862
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26276) - you deserved it (1927)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:25pm - health - by Ouch (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27216) - you deserved it (2112)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (2245)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30390) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27702) - you deserved it (3740)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30479) - you deserved it (2276)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, my drinking problem became apparent when my daughter asked for a glass of juice, and I instinctively poured a large glass of scotch instead. FML

#21357563
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14495) - you deserved it (33493)

On 02/16/2015 at 8:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after 3 hours of sleep, I had to rush to my grandmother's house because she fell and couldn't get up. An embarrassed, half-naked old lady, a very wet rug, an ambulance and a trip to the hospital later, and she still refuses to use her cane and walker. I hope I'm not this stubborn when I'm old. FML

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for 'impeding a police officer'. My car was in my driveway. FML

#21357102
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39223) - you deserved it (2037)

On 02/16/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as a reward for finishing all my work in maths, I was told I could leave early. Apparently, later on, the class had a random attendance inspection. I didn't know about this until I received a detention for not being present at that class. My teacher had completely forgotten about me. FML

Today, I had my performance review at work. Under the "oral communication" category my boss wrote that I "act like an asshole." FML

#21354453
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25192) - you deserved it (5139)

On 02/11/2015 at 10:59pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I asked my dad to please shave his awful beard, because I'm a laughing-stock at school for being picked up each day by a guy whose face looks like Bigfoot's ass. He agreed, and 10 minutes later was sporting a pedo-stache. It's going to be a long year. FML

#21354177
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28773) - you deserved it (9378)

On 02/11/2015 at 4:00pm - misc - by assholedad (man) - United States

Today, my boss was telling everyone his mother recently passed away and he'll be off work for a while. I'd been holding in painful gas for a while, so I tried to ease it out. It turned into a long, squeaky fart in front of everyone. Everyone glared at me as if I was trying to be funny. FML

#21351411
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27265) - you deserved it (6163)

On 02/07/2015 at 9:33am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took a nice relaxing dump at school, in my pants, in the middle of class. FML

#21350418
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30978) - you deserved it (7084)

On 02/05/2015 at 3:42pm - misc - by m33p - United States (California)



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