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FML with : fuck

Number of results : 173

Today, I quit my job so I wouldn't have to work with this one complete fuck-wit anymore. I told him what I thought of him, and then walked away giving him the middle finger. Turns out, he is a regular customer at my new job. Everyone loves him and thinks he's awesome. FML

#21435181
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (7198)

On 07/02/2015 at 12:49am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25652) - you deserved it (1930)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37125) - you deserved it (4153)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

#21424599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25190) - you deserved it (2476)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML

#21414033
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27720) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I overheard my uncle talking about me to his friends. Nothing serious, just that he'd fuck me senseless if we weren't related. FML

#21399079
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37612) - you deserved it (2454)

On 04/24/2015 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland (Laois)

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33526) - you deserved it (2625)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I asked my 5-year-old son how school went today. He sighed and said "Fuck off, dad." I thought kids only became such colossal douchebags in their teens. FML

#21387117
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29000) - you deserved it (5478)

On 04/03/2015 at 5:15pm - kids - by no, YOU raised him (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML

#21380370
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26548) - you deserved it (14194)

On 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by Li - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, an old man approached me at work. I smiled and asked, "Hi, can I help you"? He looked at me for a few seconds before replying, "Fuck me, you need to lose some weight!" and then wandering off. FML

#21379495
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27344) - you deserved it (3227)

On 03/22/2015 at 1:41pm - work - by { o } (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally accepted I need help with my anxiety issues. I started small and I joined a support forum and wrote a post. I was quickly called a troll by multiple users, accused of faking it, and told to "fuck off back to Tumblr" because they wouldn't believe my anxiety is really so serious. FML

#21372539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31202) - you deserved it (3230)

On 03/11/2015 at 2:43pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I rolled up a newspaper and smashed a huge spider in my room. As I went to scoop it up with a tissue, it lurched away and fell near my bed. I can't find it, but I can sure as fuck sense the pure evil coming from it. Looks like I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. FML

#21369803
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (98) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/07/2015 at 7:14am - animals - by farksh (woman) - Australia

Today, my ex gave me a heartwarming speech about how much he wanted me back. After talking for hours and me finally wanting to get back together too, he started mentioning a date he has with a cute colleague. Conclusion: he wants to get back together, but still be able to fuck the entire world. FML

#21366438
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (3887)

On 03/02/2015 at 9:04am - intimacy - by donotbelieveinsecondchances (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for another girl, via a text message ending with "No hard feelings. Well xcept 4 my cock obvs. ;)" Fuck you, Rick. FML

#21365892
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34261) - you deserved it (2587)

On 03/01/2015 at 1:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Suffolk)



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