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Number of results : 1892

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10501) - you deserved it (18268)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

Today, I was on a date, and I tried breaking the ice by telling him my best joke. He laughed hysterically for a good 10 seconds, started beating the table with his fist, then suddenly went deadpan and said "No, seriously, you're a moron. Screw this date." FML

#21446581
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24763) - you deserved it (2615)

On 07/24/2015 at 2:54pm - misc - by HAIL SITHIS (woman) - United States

Today, I had to explain to my incredibly sheltered 15-year-old brother that no, you don't wear condoms on your balls, and that they don't work by squeezing your balls so the sperm are blocked from coming out when you ejaculate. FML

#21443849
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23163) - you deserved it (1983)

On 07/19/2015 at 2:02am - kids - by facepalming all the way (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was yelled at by a bunch of angry people because I couldn't physically move out of the way while 10 more tried to force their way onto a subway in Shanghai. Then one old lady started hitting me with her purse to get me to move even more. FML

#21440904
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22239) - you deserved it (1755)

On 07/13/2015 at 5:45am - misc - by anonymous - China (Shanghai)

Today, my bosses were boasting about their work-funded retreat, including the $1,800 bottle of wine the company paid for. This would be fine if they hadn't just told me there are no funds to pay me for the work they've got me doing. We are also the biggest company in our industry. FML

#21440819
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25021) - you deserved it (1599)

On 07/13/2015 at 1:06am - work - by Wolfrunner87 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

#21439964
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22102) - you deserved it (2644)

On 07/11/2015 at 8:51am - misc - by anon - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my birthday. What did I get? A 12-hour work shift, after spending an almost sleepless night in a computer chair because my bed is infested with bed bugs. FML

#21439671
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23837) - you deserved it (2334)

On 07/10/2015 at 6:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend's brother and fiancé decided to preach to me about how I need to read the Bible because I'm agnostic. I'd be fine if it wasn't coming from two 19-year-olds who dated for 5 months, got pregnant, got engaged, lost the baby, and still wanna get married, "so they don't look bad." FML

#21438785
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24541) - you deserved it (1993)

On 07/08/2015 at 11:24pm - misc - by ZiggyTink - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while visiting family in Taipei, I came across a large button that said "PUSH" on it. I was curious and pushed it. A deafening alarm then sounded for the next 10 minutes, attracting concerned neighbours and finally a security guard who informed me that I'd pushed a panic button. FML

#21438499
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22141) - you deserved it (9624)

On 07/08/2015 at 12:30pm - misc - by whoops (woman) - Taiwan

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

#21438456
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32634) - you deserved it (2680)

On 07/08/2015 at 10:44am - love - by freshly single (woman) - Aruba

Today, I just finished a driving school that I thought would lower my insurance by 10%. It was 30 hours so I was glad it was over, that was until I found out I took the wrong class. FML

#21438040
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19566) - you deserved it (7579)

On 07/07/2015 at 4:20pm - misc - by HowToGetFired - United States (Florida)

Today, I was finally going to break down my social barrier by going out on a date with a nice guy I recently met on a dating site. Just at the start of the date, he asked me how old I was, and out of pure nervousness, I blurted out, "12!" I'm 24. FML

#21437546
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (5407)

On 07/06/2015 at 7:02pm - love - by 12yearsoldapparently (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. All the magic vanished when I kept queefing every time he thrust into me. We made it about 10 seconds before he broke down into hysterical laughter and lost his boner. FML

#21436148
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27884) - you deserved it (3712)

On 07/04/2015 at 1:02am - intimacy - by alison (woman) - United States

Today, I'm babysitting for kids whose parents said they would be back by 12. Its 4am and they still aren't home. I don't get paid enough for this. FML

#21435758
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25545) - you deserved it (1762)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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