FML with : 1

Number of results : 2054

Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML

by Anonymous / 04/30/2016 at 2:20am / Australia / Work

Today, after 10 years of frequent international air travel, I got my seat upgraded for the first time. Also, for the first time in 10 years, the airline lost my luggage. FML

by Bittersweet / 04/29/2016 at 12:19pm / Transportation

Today, I put some of my wife's eucalyptus oil in my bath to make it relaxing. I soon found out the amount I used was about 100 times more than you're supposed to use. It took an hour of burning agony to find out the only way to get even a hint of relief was to cover my nuts in yoghurt. FML

by tingleballs / 04/28/2016 at 10:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Health

Today, my fiancé tells me he loves me about 100 times a day. At first it was cute, but now it's getting really annoying. We can't have a conversation without him throwing in about 10 "I love you"s. I'm beginning to not want to talk to him anymore. FML

by Jane / 04/27/2016 at 11:58pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I got mugged. Trying to be brave, I attacked my mugger, who then broke my nose. Suddenly, I was saved by someone: A 15 year-old goth girl who promptly tackled the mugger to the ground. I'm a 21 year old man. FML

by Anonymous / 04/27/2016 at 1:32pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that someone found my lost library card, and instead of returning it, took out multiple items. If they don't return them, I'm on the hook to paying over $100 for them. FML

by bookbroke / 04/26/2016 at 12:27am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Money

Today, my wallet got stolen. I had a bunch of cash, my SS card and my license in it. Now I have to replace everything, only to have to renew my license again when I turn 21 in June. FML

by pissedandpoor / 04/15/2016 at 1:50pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, after working like a caffeine-fuelled thunderstorm for 9 hours straight on an art project, my 2 friends informed me that it was due next week. I slept for 10 hours, and then went to my class without my project, thinking I lucked out in the long run. Clearly not, as it was due today. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2016 at 8:12pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my best friend told me she no longer wants an "active friendship" with me. She says she doesn't have time to see me, since she has a boyfriend and a bunch of friends she's spent years bitching to me about. We've gone from a 14 year friendship to awkwardly nodding at each other in the street. FML

by BFFN / 04/14/2016 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Miscellaneous

Today, I joined my grandpa on his morning jog. I didn't last 15 minutes before nearly passing out from exhaustion. He came jogging back home nearly an hour later looking even better than he did when we left. FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2016 at 12:41pm / United States / Health

Today, I went to take my permit test. I had been studying for months and was familiar with the whole book. When I sat down to take my test, I didn't recognize any of the questions. I went home and found out the book I used to study was the book my mom used to take her test in 1970. FML

by dk_2k16 / 04/12/2016 at 4:29pm / United States (Mississippi) / Work

Today, like many other days, I drove 15 minutes away from my girlfriend's house to poop at the local McDonald's, because I'm too scared of her roommates hearing my extreme noise terror. FML

by scared2poop / 04/11/2016 at 10:30pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to wait for my family for 12 hours at the wrong airport in Italy, and then take a €170 taxi to their hotel, because my sister thought that Venice and Rome have the same airport when the airline changed their travel plans. FML

Today, I waited 7 hours for my mom to come home and give me my computer back. 15 minutes after she got home, I remembered that I had hidden my computer myself so she wouldn't take it. FML

Today, I proudly told my family I lost 15 pounds. My dad looked me up and down and said, "Well, you've got a looooong way to go." FML

by Anon / 04/08/2016 at 6:28pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health