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FML with : dog

Number of results : 842

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

#21450713
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16807) - you deserved it (1863)

On 08/02/2015 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19193) - you deserved it (2159)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21862) - you deserved it (2152)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (2008)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (2439)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I got the last clean bowl out of the cupboard for a bowl of cereal. After I had finished, my family asked me if I had cleaned it first. It turns out that that specific bowl is apparently the dog's, and everyone just puts it back after feeding him. FML

#21447917
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (4800)

On 07/27/2015 at 5:25am - misc - by NoOrdinaryNZer - New Zealand (Bay of Plenty)

Today, when I woke up, my dog excitedly came up to me and licked my face. A few minutes later, I find out he had thrown up twice before he licked my face. FML

#21446038
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20949) - you deserved it (2692)

On 07/23/2015 at 2:28pm - animals - by killjoyx - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out my mom recently stopped taking her medication. I came home to find she'd shot my dog because she thought he was possessed by the devil. FML

#21442016
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38134) - you deserved it (1793)

On 07/15/2015 at 11:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after working a double shift, I got home to total pandemonium. My dogs had crapped all over the house, my kitchen was soaking wet, etc. My mother, who just moved in with me, was sitting on the couch, saying she had no idea what happened. FML

Today, my dog brought me a a dead rabbit. It so happened to be the rabbit a group of neighborhood kids were looking for after they lost it yesterday. I just had to hide a body for my dog. FML

Today, I was bored of doing nothing so I decided to take my 4-year-old brother and 3 of our dogs to a school playground nearby. When we got there, one of the four of them pooped in the field. It wasn't one of the dogs. FML

#21437044
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22200) - you deserved it (1750)

On 07/05/2015 at 9:48pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with a electric dog collar on my neck. I wouldn't have noticed it until my stepfather turned the collar to the highest intensity just to wake me up. FML

#21436783
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24066) - you deserved it (1732)

On 07/05/2015 at 12:26pm - misc - by izaya - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, our family dog died. A couple of hours after the death, my mother-in-law slapped my crying five year old son over the head and told him to "Man up." She totally refuses to admit she did anything wrong. FML

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML



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