FML with : dog

Number of results : 954

Today, I knew my relationship was basically over when my boyfriend invited me over, and I was more excited about seeing his dog than seeing him. FML

by hannamacintosh / 06/28/2016 at 1:30pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my friends renamed my dog, “Dog Vader.“ Yes, my dog has asthma. FML

by Lua / 06/28/2016 at 1:09pm / France (Picardie) / Animals

Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML

by pissedoff / 06/28/2016 at 7:53am / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous

Today, while trying to go to sleep, I could hear snoring from my boyfriend's side of the bed. I'm not sure who was louder, him or the dog. FML

by Angsty_Armadillo / 06/28/2016 at 5:36am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, marks three days since I was supposed to follow the moving truck to my new home. Instead, I got super sick and my dad drove away without me. I've been laying on a dog cushion the entire weekend because my bed is 500 miles away. FML

by PlzSendBlankets / 06/26/2016 at 10:00pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2016 at 8:22am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I asked my mom not to bring her dog to my wedding, since he's a real pain in the ass. She told me not to worry about it because she didn't feel like going anyway. FML

by L_M_AND_R_L / 06/24/2016 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my mom took away my car, phone, dog, laptop and college fund because I told her she lets me down sometimes. I'm moving to Arizona for college in two weeks. FML

by sounds good mom / 06/14/2016 at 11:23am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my father's house to get my dog, since I had left it with him while I was on a business trip. When I got there, my dad said the dog pooped on the floor a few days ago, and so he took him to the pound. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 5:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. My wife came in and thought I was jerking him off. She wouldn't believe my explanation. FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2016 at 10:28am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals

Today, I went to pick my dog up from my old house where my ex-boyfriend still lives. I rang the doorbell and saw him look out of the side window holding the dog. When I told him I was there for my dog, he claimed that the dog was his now. He broke up with me because he hates dogs. FML

by codyolimason / 06/08/2016 at 4:36pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML

by ginya / 06/06/2016 at 9:58pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was mowing my lawn and it had a dry looking dog turd. I figured I'd be able to mow it easily into the grass bag as dust. Instead, it still had enough moisture to splatter into clumps. Including a couple that went up my left nostril. FML

by Furzball / 05/27/2016 at 2:19am / United States (California) / Animals