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FML with : dog

Number of results : 851

Today, on my daughter's 9th birthday, I have to let her know that her dog died in his sleep overnight. Happy birthday. FML

#21461306
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13847) - you deserved it (720)

On 08/27/2015 at 11:36am - kids - by JDCH_99 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I was at my summer babysitting job. The family's dog puked on the carpet and I proceeded to clean it up with baking soda and a mix of water/vinegar. Instead of blending in with the other areas of the carpet, the one spot I cleaned is white while the other areas are still darkened by filth. FML

#21460085
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19745) - you deserved it (1964)

On 08/24/2015 at 1:32pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating and my dog kept bothering me. She kept scratching my legs for food, so I took a large piece of fish from my plate and tossed it out into the hallway. It flew right into my mother's face. FML

#21459109
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (7052)

On 08/21/2015 at 11:55pm - misc - by FishFlingingMonkey (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I told my daughter that we're going to the beach. Today, my daughter also tried to dig up our deceased dog that we buried in our back yard last week so it can come along. FML

#21458250
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21832) - you deserved it (1532)

On 08/19/2015 at 10:38pm - kids - by GlueAndCarrots - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we learned that our dog can run and urinate simultaneously. The entire house smells like piss. FML

#21456522
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21519) - you deserved it (1720)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I had to ride in the back seat of a car, next to a large, hyperactive dog who experiences nervous bowel movements. FML

#21455554
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19715) - you deserved it (1385)

On 08/13/2015 at 10:54am - animals - by grace (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I asked my one-year-old to come and give mommy a kiss. She did and it was really sweet, until she tried to spit a piece of dog food into my mouth. FML

#21452734
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21185) - you deserved it (2688)

On 08/06/2015 at 1:28pm - kids - by gross - United States

Today, my local USPS delivery man refused to deliver any more packages to my house, because in the past, my dogs have barked at him and he feels threatened. He also filed a complaint about our house because apparently my driveway has branches that, to him, are considered "hazardous." FML

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML

#21450713
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22890) - you deserved it (2568)

On 08/02/2015 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML

#21450491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25959) - you deserved it (2992)

On 08/01/2015 at 3:06pm - animals - by Wow (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my grandpa set out snare traps to catch the foxes that have been around our property, because he wanted to protect our dog from being attacked by them. I then got a phone call from my dad telling me our dog got caught in one. FML

Today, I was changing my clothes with my dog in the room. As I took off my shirt, he looked at me, ran into the corner, and threw up. Well that's a confidence booster. FML

#21450074
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24801) - you deserved it (2385)

On 07/31/2015 at 2:55pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24184) - you deserved it (2024)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24756) - you deserved it (2461)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States



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