Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FML with : girlfriend

Number of results : 2295

Today, my girlfriend said she was going to start appreciating the little things in life. She's starting with my penis. FML

#21364983
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30924) - you deserved it (4676)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:03am - intimacy - by FreshDonuts (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about times we'd made our mothers cry. She said she'd only made her mother cry once. When I asked when, she said, "When I told her I was thinking about dating you." FML

#21364495
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30412) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/27/2015 at 9:13am - love - by shoggoth_wild - United States (Mississippi)

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28918) - you deserved it (2435)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, I greeted my girlfriend with a spinning hug. She got motion sickness and threw up all over me. FML

#21362603
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26700) - you deserved it (7517)

On 02/24/2015 at 2:02pm - love - by hamboneghost (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst laying in bed with my girlfriend, she received a flirty message from her ex on her phone asking if she wanted to go to the cinema. She replied, knowing I could see the screen. The messages were signed with a love heart and about 15 kisses. She claims they are still just friends. FML

#21362430
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (3338)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:50am - love - by anonymous - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML

#21361122
458 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43414) - you deserved it (4005)

On 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend got her wisdom teeth removed. I really want to help her out while she recovers, but her swollen cheeks combined with her natural buck teeth keep making me crack up every time I see her. I can't help it and I'm now in the doghouse. FML

#21360286
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (27573)

On 02/21/2015 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, my dad gave my younger brother condoms and a pat on the back, even though he doesn't have a girlfriend. This is after called me a whore after he saw me kissing my long-term boyfriend last week. FML

#21360278
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35010) - you deserved it (2606)

On 02/21/2015 at 8:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend commented on one of his his ex-girlfriend's Facebook photos, saying how smoking hot she looks and how much he wants her. His excuse was that the photo was posted before he was with me, so he's clearly doing nothing wrong. FML

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend for the first time. Even after several hours I wasn't able to climax. My girlfriend now thinks that I don't like her body, and the reason I couldn't orgasm is because I don't like having sex with her. We spend the rest of the night in silence. FML

Today, my girlfriend confessed to cheating on me. Unfortunately, she's a pathological liar and I can't be sure if it's really true, along with half the stuff she tells me on a daily basis. Love is hard. FML

#21356609
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28815) - you deserved it (9646)

On 02/15/2015 at 11:02am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26467) - you deserved it (2364)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

#21355947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28900) - you deserved it (8996)

On 02/14/2015 at 12:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I found out that honestly answering "yes" to "Are Kate Upton's boobs bigger than mine?" is in my girlfriend's mind the equivalent of saying I don't find her attractive anymore and that I want to break up with her to date a supermodel. FML

#21355268
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (7057)

On 02/13/2015 at 9:54am - love - by StrawHatBill (man) - United States

Today, I introduced my dad to my girlfriend. He looked her up and down and said to her, "Beggars can't be choosers. Am I right?" FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: