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FML with : girlfriend

Number of results : 2392

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over the phone, after having left me to look after her dog while she went on a 2-week vacation with her family. Now I have to choose between paying for a kennel for her damn dog or taking care of it every day until she gets back. FML

#21448527
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18660) - you deserved it (1647)

On 07/28/2015 at 11:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my step-sister told me that she was getting married to her girlfriend next summer. At a big family brunch, I made a toast to their marriage. I didn't know that my step-mom didn't know they were dating in the first place, or that she was severely homophobic. FML

#21448362
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22121) - you deserved it (3355)

On 07/28/2015 at 1:02am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother was telling me about my "sweet" and "pure" ex-girlfriend. Three stab wounds have already proven otherwise. FML

#21448265
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (1341)

On 07/27/2015 at 9:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

#21448216
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21868) - you deserved it (1727)

On 07/27/2015 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because her dog "told her to". FML

#21448078
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21159) - you deserved it (2151)

On 07/27/2015 at 2:55pm - love - by Afroman720 (man) - United States

Today, I found out why my girlfriend was so excited to get to see me. She finally got to end the relationship she didn't want anymore. FML

Today, my girlfriend called me and said she needs to take a break from our relationship. Why? Her really clingy ex is really depressed about her dating someone else and he isn't ready to accept it. So she wants to take a break "for his sake" until he's over her. FML

#21447496
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22453) - you deserved it (1873)

On 07/26/2015 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Finland (Western Finland)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's job to surprise her for lunch, her manager said she hasn't worked on a Saturday in two months. FML

#21446986
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (1689)

On 07/25/2015 at 11:51am - love - by WhoLikesPie (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend asked me to get her a pregnancy test. After using it, we couldn't find how to tell if she was or wasn't pregnant. After about 10 minutes of waiting, Google searching, and tension, I realized I had bought an ovulation test. FML

#21446911
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11126) - you deserved it (19123)

On 07/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Mmm - United States (California)

Today, after vacuuming, I struggled to pull the nozzle attachment out. I yanked it too hard and it flew out, hitting me in the face and causing my head to jerk back into the wall behind me. My girlfriend had to drive me to the hospital for my concussion. FML

#21446817
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (2761)

On 07/25/2015 at 12:20am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, about 30 seconds into my first blowjob, my girlfriend threatened to cut my balls off if I didn't "just fucking cum already". FML

#21446517
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23497) - you deserved it (2162)

On 07/24/2015 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by fuck (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML

#21444850
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24932) - you deserved it (2854)

On 07/21/2015 at 2:15am - love - by UnfortunatelySingle (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28898) - you deserved it (3792)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after an argument with my girlfriend, I tried to be dramatic by slamming my car door shut as hard as I could. Something broke and now it won't open. Now I have to climb through the passenger's side just to drive my car to work. FML

#21443311
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11232) - you deserved it (26525)

On 07/18/2015 at 12:31am - misc - by MerryDeathmas - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was Skyping with my girlfriend. I was so incredibly tired and just wanted to go to bed, but she just kept talking and wouldn't let me go. I ended up blurting "Your mom's a cunt." just to start a fight and have an excuse to hang up on her. I feel like an asshole. FML

#21443212
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11893) - you deserved it (36396)

On 07/17/2015 at 8:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



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