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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1421

Today, while spring cleaning, my cat came into the kitchen with a live mouse in her mouth. She looked me dead in the eyes and dropped the mouse, which then ran into my bedroom. It's been 4 hours and I still can't find it. Where's the cat? Chilling like nothing happened. FML

#21396858
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9859) - you deserved it (869)

On 04/20/2015 at 2:06pm - animals - by craZycatLady - United States (Kansas)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28549) - you deserved it (3651)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my sister and I heard back from a job we both applied to. I had used the knowledge from my MBA degree to write a six-page essay for the application, while she just copied and pasted hers from a random website. Guess who got the job. FML

#21393558
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32126) - you deserved it (3182)

On 04/14/2015 at 2:15pm - work - by Anyonexx0 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28199) - you deserved it (3012)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15817) - you deserved it (20851)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, after getting a pay raise at work after 15 years and pulling a loan for a new house, I went back to work from a two-week paid vacation to find out that I had been fired two weeks ago for "no call, no show". My manager claims he doesn't recall ever signing a paper for my paid vacation. FML

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26602) - you deserved it (3062)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML

Today, I came back from a week-long vacation where I had no internet whatsoever. I turned on my phone to get notifications, hoping to see a message or two that I'd missed while gone. There was 1 notification, telling me how many FMLs were posted while I was away. FML

#21388075
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29009) - you deserved it (2750)

On 04/05/2015 at 2:03pm - misc - by supercharged - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at my cousin's wedding, there was a bouquet toss. I jumped to catch it, only to get knocked down and crushed by a woman twice my size who'd jumped backwards. It still feels like someone shattered my ribs with a sledgehammer. FML

#21387046
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (2239)

On 04/03/2015 at 2:08pm - health - by glocked and goaded (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dislocated my toe while putting on my socks. FML

#21384619
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28697) - you deserved it (4704)

On 03/31/2015 at 6:54am - health - by billy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27163) - you deserved it (4605)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27804) - you deserved it (2775)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30431) - you deserved it (2184)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36929) - you deserved it (2230)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)



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