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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1559

Today, my cat shoved his claw up my nose and got it stuck there. FML

#21523143
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2392) - you deserved it (230)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:51pm - animals - by ReiracsNeve - United States (Florida)

Today, I shared with my doctor that I still feel uncomfortable with my medication. She expressed surprise, saying, "Really? By now I would've thought it'd be routine." Sorry, no. In three months, I have not gotten used to sticking a syringe up my butt and injecting my rectum full of medicated foam. FML

#21522878
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15209) - you deserved it (1168)

On 02/04/2016 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I wasn't getting notifications for my voicemail, so I decided to check it and found out that I had 3 job offerings that are no longer an option. FML

#21521192
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20490) - you deserved it (3338)

On 01/30/2016 at 4:05pm - work - by thanks iphone - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my whack job of a father told my 8-year-old son that his cat deserves a bullet to the head for being so damn stupid. FML

Today, I started a new job. After being trained on several obscure computer programs I'm expected to use in just one day, my new boss informed me she's going on a week long vacation starting tomorrow. She's the only other person who knows how this program runs. FML

#21520497
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18789) - you deserved it (1294)

On 01/28/2016 at 6:39pm - work - by screwedfortheweek (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, it was an extremely hot day so I hit up the beach for a swim. Just as I entered the water, the first wave approached me. I tried to jump it and lost my footing, managing to dislocate my hip. I had to be dragged from the water by the lifeguards. FML

#21520345
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19383) - you deserved it (2030)

On 01/28/2016 at 6:42am - misc - by water fail - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I was walking to class. While waiting at the crosswalk, a guy cat-called me from his car. I guess he was pissed that I didn't respond, because he purposely drove through a puddle and completely soaked me and the expensive textbook I was holding. FML

#21519651
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20533) - you deserved it (1475)

On 01/26/2016 at 12:05pm - misc - by Soakedandbroke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

#21516140
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20947) - you deserved it (2474)

On 01/17/2016 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the kennels I work in to find the power disconnected and the water pump off. This meant I had to bucket water and carry it to keep over sixty assorted dogs and cats alive in temperatures over 90 degrees. The moment I finished, the power came back on. FML

#21514912
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20660) - you deserved it (1335)

On 01/13/2016 at 9:08pm - animals - by TooFlamingHot (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned how it feels to sneeze after having major spinal surgery when the pain medication has almost completely worn off. FML

#21514699
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (1472)

On 01/13/2016 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1495)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML

#21514228
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (5015)

On 01/12/2016 at 5:48am - animals - by mutantprincess - Australia

 Today, I realized how lonely I am, when I got a call from an elderly women who had dialed the wrong number. We ended up having a 20 minute conversation about her cat and how he "just won't use the darn litter pan." I was sad when she had to hang up. FML

#21513970
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22381) - you deserved it (2187)

On 01/11/2016 at 1:03pm - misc - by JoseIsAdork (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

#21513338
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22195) - you deserved it (2198)

On 01/09/2016 at 9:07pm - love - by Jack (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was messing around and tried to catch a piece of cereal in my mouth. I accidentally slammed my head on the counter behind my couch. FML



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