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FML with : cat

Number of results : 1410

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20581) - you deserved it (3456)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26125) - you deserved it (2715)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29045) - you deserved it (2153)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35153) - you deserved it (2204)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, my maths class and I had to sit through a slideshow of photos of our teacher's cat. The cat's name is Mr Cat. FML

#21376941
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27428) - you deserved it (3469)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I accidentally ate a cat treat instead of a cinnamon glazed pecan. I thought it must have been burnt by the way it tasted, so ate a few more before I figured out my mistake and spat them out. FML

#21376174
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22458) - you deserved it (12227)

On 03/17/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by ilovecharliesheen (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I ate a wonderful meal, after which I fell asleep on my couch and had a dream that my husband was passionately kissing me. I woke up to realize it was actually my cat licking bits of food out of my teeth. FML

Today, I ate an apple. My sister then walks in dressed as a witch, and asks, "Have you seen my poisoned apple?" She was playing at Snow White, and the apple had been dipped in the toilet, the cat's food bowl and the garbage can. FML

#21372987
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30420) - you deserved it (5722) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/11/2015 at 4:37pm - kids - by dorianseiji - France (Picardie)

Today, I woke up this morning in a panic. Last night, I heard scratching at my door, but I thought it was just my cat and went back to sleep. This morning, it hit me that my cat is 600 miles away living with my mom in Iowa. I'm terrified to even sleep now. FML

#21370427
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31818) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/08/2015 at 10:41am - animals - by no salt, no burning, just STFU (man) - United States

Today, I was doing laundry, so I decided to wash my cat's blanket. He chased me down the stairs into the basement, and I slightly closed the door behind me so he wouldn't follow me. He pushed the door shut, which automatically locks. I was trapped down there for 3 hours until my mom came home. FML

#21364131
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25684) - you deserved it (4947)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:08pm - animals - by jynxisadouchebag - United States (California)

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

#21363251
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31972) - you deserved it (2385)

On 02/25/2015 at 10:44am - animals - by cat-astrophic (man) - United Kingdom

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

#21363021
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27505) - you deserved it (2834)

On 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm - animals - by Sarah1330 (woman) - United States

Today, it was the day my catheter was to be removed. The nurse removing it deflated the balloon, and then tried pulling it out. After me screaming in extreme pain, she found out she hadn't actually deflated the balloon all the way. She was trying to pull a small balloon through my dick hole. FML

#21362632
112 comments

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28387) - you deserved it (3754)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend berated me for my "lack of communication skills", all while deeply engrossed with something on her phone. FML

#21356030
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26618) - you deserved it (2371)

On 02/14/2015 at 3:04pm - love - by hopeless - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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