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FMLs submitted from York

Today, my boyfriend's mum publicly shamed him on Facebook after she caught him having sex under her roof today. Everyone thought it was hilarious, except me. Not because I'm ashamed, but because I'm over 300 miles away right now. FML

#21407667
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36418) - you deserved it (2005)

On 05/10/2015 at 8:16am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I brought my girlfriend home to introduce to my parents. My dad thought it would be hilarious to fill some clear bags full of flour, then pretend he was sampling a cocaine shipment when she arrived. She excused herself very quickly and isn't answering my calls. FML

#21399378
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31109) - you deserved it (2492)

On 04/25/2015 at 6:34am - love - by a critically injured shitehawk (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I noticed that the condom in my wallet has been there so long it's left a mark. FML

Today, I broke into tears at work after being told my aunt had a stroke. My boss told me to "suck it up, no one is that close to their aunt." My aunt adopted me when my mother passed away. FML

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically being placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43473) - you deserved it (3705)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, during a conversation, my boss said, "What, what?" Before I could stop myself, I replied, "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13272) - you deserved it (30240)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was playing some CoD online, when I realised I'd started humming an annoyingly catchy Bieber tune. Before I could come to my senses and pull out my mic, a bunch of my teammates started sarcastically singing along. FML

#20051062
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6984) - you deserved it (25487)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:20pm - misc - by bieberyoulittleSHIT (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was feeling really down, so I texted my boyfriend, hoping to get some emotional support. He texted me back twenty minutes later, asking for nude pictures. FML

#20018849
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25638) - you deserved it (4578)

On 08/13/2012 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (York)

Today, a guy asked me why I'm single. As a joke, I told him that not only do I have a penis, but that it's so large that most men are intimidated by it. He wasn't impressed. And I actually wonder why I'm single. FML

#19460491
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10418) - you deserved it (27278)

On 04/13/2012 at 9:11am - intimacy - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

#18940800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32907) - you deserved it (2713)

On 01/29/2012 at 4:55am - love - by brokeandsingle - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML

#18929275
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6893) - you deserved it (51721)

On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I have my first university lecture on lab safety. Having gone out the night before with my house-mates, I have the worst hangover of my life, and have to listen for an hour and a half while they loudly demonstrate the types of alarms we'll hear in different kinds of emergencies. FML

#18138100
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12331) - you deserved it (47022)

On 11/02/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by ...loud noises...urgh... (woman) - United Kingdom (York)



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