FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

by Anonymous / 11/21/2015 at 8:47am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2015 at 4:46am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

by FalloutScrolls / 11/13/2015 at 9:49am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

by Potato_Lord / 11/11/2015 at 11:11pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Transportation

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

by Anonymous / 11/06/2015 at 12:29am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I threw away a bunch of candy wrappers from my pocket, I also managed to throw away $20. That was the only money I had. FML

by duckthisspit / 10/31/2015 at 11:23pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was mistaken for a prostitute after I got into the front seat of an elderly man's car. The man was my grandfather, and he was taking me to a doctor's appointment, since I wasn't going to be allowed to drive home after it. FML

by Catlover234 / 10/02/2015 at 3:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I accidentally poured milk into my bowl of chips. FML

by Blackshadows / 09/07/2015 at 2:08pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my older brother offered me a cigarette. I took it and barely took a drag before he socked me in the arm and lectured me for taking the offer. He's an alcoholic, and smokes daily. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2015 at 2:59am / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

by Anonymous / 08/12/2015 at 12:05am / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2015 at 2:13am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I was asked to cover work for someone because they have volleyball practice. Apparently, they haven't noticed that we've been on the same team for two years. FML

by eventer1919 / 08/03/2015 at 10:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend of three years that I wanted to get married and have a child within the next five years. He responded by packing up my things and showing me the door. FML

by rissa5214 / 07/26/2015 at 2:20pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love