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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, my boyfriend lied about having herpes, and used it as an excuse to dump me. FML

#21290234
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30874) - you deserved it (2702)

On 11/02/2014 at 1:30am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29145) - you deserved it (5587)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32879) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out what it's like to drive seven hours home with a woman who just brutally rejected your marriage proposal. FML

#21284911
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43828) - you deserved it (3614)

On 10/25/2014 at 10:10am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, someone stole my coat. I can only imagine their surprise when they find the $3,000 engagement ring I bought earlier. FML

#21284412
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41962) - you deserved it (3580)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:49pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boss drove past me while I was walking to work, and splashing mud over my uniform. When I got to work, he criticized me for showing up in unpresentable condition. FML

#21281679
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37485) - you deserved it (2738)

On 10/20/2014 at 11:03am - work - by Chansus10 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son drank a bottle of hot sauce. It wasn't a dare, he actually thought that it would give him a fever so that he could skip school tomorrow. This idiot is 15 years old. FML

#21276472
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38064) - you deserved it (4863)

On 10/12/2014 at 8:38pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36354) - you deserved it (3465)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my friends came over to my house to eat my food and make fun of me as they played on my Xbox. FML

#21260159
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33732) - you deserved it (8413)

On 09/17/2014 at 5:56pm - misc - by iAmJasper - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I looked at a girl's profile on a dating website, and it told her I'd visited it. Later on, she sent me a message. It said: "Don't even think about it." FML

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML

Today, my sister felt guilty and told me about the changes she secretly made to my résumé months ago. She'd put "doing your mom" and "corporate espionage" as my hobbies, and "Justin Bieber's pussy waxer" as a previous job. No wonder I'm still unemployed. FML

#21244565
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40162) - you deserved it (7300)

On 08/24/2014 at 5:50pm - work - by fuck you, tasha (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41583) - you deserved it (3170)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)



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