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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I woke up and realized I have experienced my first "nocturnal emission". I am a 24 year old male who has been married for 3 months. Guess who isn't getting any. FML

#7025515
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10910) - you deserved it (1915)

On 12/29/2009 at 11:58pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I gave my 7 year old a snowglobe. I had spent the last week deconstructing it, putting an action figure of his favorite cartoon character inside, and then putting it back together. Later, I find it smashed into pieces because he wanted to "play with the toy it came with." FML

#6998138
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21991) - you deserved it (6087)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my girlfriend left me for my sister. I can't stop thinking about all those days they went out alone for "girl time." FML

#6976806
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37013) - you deserved it (2657)

On 12/27/2009 at 5:34pm - love - by notgoodenough38 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the elderly couple next door asked me to cut down a tree in their yard. It turns out they told me to cut down the wrong tree, and I cut down the tree they got married under. They now hate me and tell me they plan to sue me for damage to property. FML

#6897944
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27485) - you deserved it (3096)

On 12/23/2009 at 3:46am - work - by jordigs (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found a pair of glasses in my car. I don't wear glasses, and nobody besides myself has been in my car lately. It appears that someone has been sleeping in my car and forgot their glasses. FML

#6836153
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17905) - you deserved it (2160)

On 12/19/2009 at 9:40pm - misc - by chrono64 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was lying in bed with the worst stomach cramps ever. My boyfriend came, looked at me writhing in pain, and said, "Well at least if it's a tapeworm you'll get skinnier." FML

#6826046
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30345) - you deserved it (3111)

On 12/19/2009 at 10:15am - love - by ouch (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was changing the oil on my car. I decided to pretend I was delivering a baby as I was removing the oil filter. I got really into it and was screaming things like "I see the head," and when I removed it, I said "Oh, it's a boy!" As I reach for my rag to clean it, I saw my neighbor's boots. FML

#6803629
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5628) - you deserved it (34736)

On 12/17/2009 at 11:29pm - misc - by nwalsh2009 (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I tried to rid my son of his pacifier. He still uses it to sleep. My son is 20 years old. FML

#6783679
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27565) - you deserved it (20135)

On 12/16/2009 at 8:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

#6693694
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7328) - you deserved it (22634)

On 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, our midterm exams were returned in my urban politics class. I had studied hard and scored 86%. The blonde girl next to me got a 92. Earlier in the semester she had asked me what state Detroit was in. FML

#6652646
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24091) - you deserved it (7318)

On 12/07/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Postdotfuzz (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was at lunch with my mom and we were talking about how to tell my brother that Santa Clause isn't real. After we finished our conversation, I heard someone crying. Little did I know, two little kids and their parents were sitting in the booth behind me. FML

#6494207
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9555) - you deserved it (27736)

On 11/28/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by TooTallNiCo (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I hit a deer. The worst part? Papa deer saw me hit mama deer, and proceded to ram into my car. FML

#6463128
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22860) - you deserved it (16596)

On 11/26/2009 at 2:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I went to Disneyworld. I fell and hit my head while jumping up and down to see Ariel. I'm a 35 year old man. FML

#6461124
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9325) - you deserved it (36626)

On 11/26/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by disney - United States (Wisconsin)



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