FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I went for a job interview for a building position at a retail store. They saw on my application that I was good at math. They asked me what the circumference of a circle is. Being nervous during the interview, I accidentally said the area of a circle. I didn't get the job. FML

by mathguy / 05/03/2012 at 8:16am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I found out my boyfriend gave me a surprise birthday present: herpes. FML

by lowlife123 / 04/30/2012 at 11:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a text from my mother-in-law saying, "Happy birthday! I hope you have great birthday sex!" I'm now afraid to go over there for dinner tonight. FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2012 at 3:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML

by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML

by thammer / 03/27/2012 at 8:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, at my grandmother's funeral there was a fight about inheritance. It was my teenage daughters arguing about what they get when I die. FML

by thammer / 03/24/2012 at 9:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

by Confused / 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally received my passport. Too bad my flight to Italy left last week. FML

by ontherun2012 / 02/13/2012 at 11:22pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was looking through my boyfriend's Facebook photos, when I saw a recent comment by one of his friends asking how his night out with "Danielle" went. He replied: "Dude, keep that shit on the down-low." We've been dating for over a year. FML

by Cheating / 01/27/2012 at 6:52pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, the vibrator I ordered online was delivered. I'd paid extra to make sure it would be here before the weekend, so I could sneak it into my room while everyone was gone. My dad decided to stay home all day and answer the door ahead of me. FML

by Ouch / 01/20/2012 at 7:29pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

by omgwhyme / 01/08/2012 at 9:36am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

by Anonymous / 01/04/2012 at 11:20am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, while I was in the break room at work, one of my coworkers walked in on me playing with my animal crackers, complete with animal noises. Now, the entire department won't stop teasing me and calling me Tarzan. FML

by Anonymous / 01/02/2012 at 3:55pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work