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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (8922)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had my back waxed to deal with the uncontrollable hair growth. Afterwards, I broke out in numerous pimples where the hair used to be. Basically, a lose-lose situation. FML

#17308613
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26764) - you deserved it (3410)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:01pm - misc - by Mitcha857 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML

#17253981
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38111) - you deserved it (5338)

On 07/25/2011 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (4019)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML

#16815939
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (2545)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:39pm - misc - by Katie - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my aunt and I went shopping. When we got to the store, she said she forgot her wallet, and I told her I would buy some things for her. When we were at the checkout, I was a dollar short. She said, "Oh, I'll get it!" and pulled out her wallet. FML

#16648557
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45781) - you deserved it (4493)

On 06/13/2011 at 6:29pm - money - by sarahwittman - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I dreamed that I was making out with a cute girl. Just as I was about to take it to the next level, she suddenly burst into tears and said, "I'm sorry, I can't do this." I can't even get laid in my dreams. FML

#16609106
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54686) - you deserved it (6873)

On 06/11/2011 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Ryan - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML

#15970719
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24992) - you deserved it (17123)

On 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

#15497521
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32851) - you deserved it (3262)

On 03/26/2011 at 11:41am - misc - by Sue (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while waiting in line for the ski lift, the lady behind me kept stepping on my skis. Annoyed, I turned around and shouted at her "Get the f*ck off my skis!" Just as the last word escaped my mouth, I noticed that my skis were crossed and it was actually me stepping on them. FML

#15127985
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6976) - you deserved it (59208)

On 02/26/2011 at 4:36pm - misc - by bitchyskier - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I woke 2 hours before my alarm was supposed to go off, feeling incredibly sick. I then ran downstairs and had diarrhea while I threw up. I spent Valentine's Day having diarrhea every time I coughed or sneezed. FML

#14983932
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (2729)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:09am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, the snowblower found my lost phone. FML

#14952947
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25444) - you deserved it (4590)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:21pm - misc - by cs - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML



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