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FMLs submitted from Wisconsin

Today, I played charades with my girlfriend and her family. When it was her turn to act out a phrase, she simply walked to the center of the room and pointed to herself and then at me. It took less than 5 seconds for someone to correctly guess "Beauty and the Beast". FML

#21512914
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (2096)

On 01/08/2016 at 4:48pm - love - by fuglymug (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my 4 year old's heavily pregnant teacher pulled me aside and asked me to talk to my son about "boundaries". Apparently, he asked her if she was going to "boobie feed" him and listed a few reasons why she should and why formula is bad, in front of the entire class. FML

Today, my boss lost the company a very lucrative contract I had worked on for weeks because he wouldn't tolerate the client's "disrespect." The disrespect? Asking him to not interrupt her or put words in her mouth during a conference call with her employees. FML

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

#21509574
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (1220)

On 12/30/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by just outdone - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, during a family dinner, I witnessed my younger brother casually slip his hand down the back of his pants, take it out, sniff each finger individually, before stirring his hand in his spaghetti and continue to eat normally. I was the only one who saw this. FML

#21504620
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21013) - you deserved it (1421)

On 12/16/2015 at 10:42pm - kids - by who wants spaghetti - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a close friend told me she had no plans for her birthday. I found out she was lying when I had to serve her and 9 other mutual friends dinner at the restaurant I work at. I don't know what's worse, the fact that I wasn't invited or that none of them even remembered that I worked there. FML

#21503048
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26329) - you deserved it (1488)

On 12/12/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by not invited - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, due to the incompetence and apathy of my lab partners, I have to write a 12-page lab paper by myself. A 12 page lab paper about radishes. Radishes. FML

#21498242
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (1825)

On 11/29/2015 at 4:10pm - misc - by quinndulgent - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

#21496698
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19645) - you deserved it (1362)

On 11/25/2015 at 3:16pm - work - by Betterthanthis (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my deadbeat dad threatened to press charges against me for harassment if I ever contact him again. I've contacted him twice in the last two years, once to tell him he was going to be a grandfather, and once to send him a birthday card from my son. FML

#21495105
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26021) - you deserved it (1611)

On 11/21/2015 at 8:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was assigned to a group of four to brainstorm ideas for a project. One by one they listed their ideas, but when it was my turn they skipped me. They suddenly started a casual conversation with each other, oblivious of my existence, while I sat quietly between them for an hour. FML

#21494312
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21513) - you deserved it (3397)

On 11/19/2015 at 4:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got several angry messages on Facebook, demanding to know how I could cheat on my wife. They didn't believe me when I said I had no idea what they meant. Turns out my wife made a sarcastic post about my "new mistress". She was talking about Fallout 4. FML

Today, not only did someone steal my bike, they also managed to get wasted and drunkenly ride my stolen bike through my new screened-in front porch, destroying it and the bike. FML

#21491506
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21383) - you deserved it (1366)

On 11/11/2015 at 11:11pm - misc - by Potato_Lord (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after countless nights spent together and flirty texts, I decided ask my crush on a date while at a party. We went on a walk and held hands. Just as I asked him, he said no, let go of my hand and briskly walked away. He was my ride home. FML

#21489061
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (1719)

On 11/06/2015 at 12:29am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)



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