FMLs submitted from Wiltshire

Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML

by NowBroke / 04/04/2016 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Transportation

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2013 at 11:58am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, proving that there's no limit to the stupid shit people will do, my husband called me from hospital, needing a lift home. He tried planking on top of his car while his buddies sped it down a hill, and I now have to take care of him while his broken leg heals. FML

by say dump him and i'll kill you / 12/28/2012 at 7:50pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a Justin Bieber shrine in my daughter's closet. FML

by unfortunateMother / 09/18/2012 at 3:51pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, I noticed that when I sweat I smell like bacon. I'm a vegetarian. FML

by sweatstreaks / 09/16/2011 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, my religious parents were hosting a family dinner. Not only did we have to wait over an hour for my grandma to finally show up, but when she did, she had her 30 year old boytoy in tow. Apparently, "Granny has needs too you know, hahaha!" Goodbye peaceful family. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2011 at 4:21pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Love

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

by craphanded / 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Geek

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2010 at 5:16pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

by Anonymous / 10/30/2010 at 7:55pm / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Kids

Today, I finally discovered the reason my front room smelt funny. My dog, thinking the Christmas tree was real, has been peeing on it for the past two weeks. FML

by brokenrainbow. / 12/31/2009 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Animals