FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

by Idek / 01/30/2015 at 11:27am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

by retailshell / 01/28/2015 at 10:01am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I found out my boyfriend dresses in my underwear and tights, takes suggestive shots of his ass and legs, and uses them to trick people into thinking he's a girl so they buy him stuff in his online games. FML

by mybfthecrossdresser / 01/20/2015 at 10:08am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my teenage daughter that The Interview wasn't a documentary and that Kim Jong-un wasn't actually assassinated by a pair of goofy reporters. FML

by Anonymous / 01/17/2015 at 1:11pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

by Anonymous / 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, my obsessive stalker of an ex found my girlfriend on Facebook and sent her a message saying just ":)". For some reason I'll never understand, she took this as a sign that I'd just slept with my ex. Now I'm single, and my ex is probably planning her next move. FML

by Anonymous / 12/26/2014 at 4:03pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I found out I was the top ranking sales person for 2014. What did last year's winner receive? An all-expenses paid weekend holiday. What did I receive? A ham. I'm vegetarian. FML

by Bahhumbug / 12/22/2014 at 9:24am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I went on a blind date. Not only did his phone go flat before I found him, but we were at totally different bars. FML

by coveholli / 11/15/2014 at 9:43am / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was waiting at a traffic light next to an ice cream van. The man in it turned to me and winked, making sexual hand gestures. I felt my childhood die horribly as I watched. FML

by Anonymous / 10/24/2014 at 8:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

by clumsylobster / 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health

Today, I chatted to a nice guy and gave him my number. I told him I was going to sleep because I had a headache, and then put my phone on silent. He rang multiple times, and when I obviously didn't pick up, he sent several texts insulting me and calling me gutless for not responding. FML

by Anonymous / 09/09/2014 at 12:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Love

Today, I was told by my teacher that she had 'given up' teaching me because someone had told her I have a mental illness, and that I don't understand what she says. FML

by Anonymous / 09/08/2014 at 6:55am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, I stuck one of those "kick me" signs on my friend's back for fun, and someone took the invitation. Unfortunately, my friend whirled around and beat the shit out of him. I managed to sneak the sign off his back, but now I feel like a total asshole. FML

by oops / 08/22/2014 at 10:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health