FMLs submitted from Western Australia

Today, a customer threw a bottle of milk at me because we'd moved our smoke counter 6 months earlier during our renovations. Moved it five metres to the right that is. He marched out of the store, then marched back, grabbed the milk from my hands, threw $5 at me and then left again. FML

by SupermarketSally / 11/25/2016 at 8:45am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, after discussing having our son's hair styled nicely for school, my ex returns him with his head shaved. I didn't realise bald was in style for 4-year-olds. FML

by children ain't pawns / 11/21/2016 at 10:23am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, I spent an hour pulling poop-covered prickles out of my husky's butt. A duck had startled him while he was doing his business and his first thought was to run, mid-poop, into a prickle bush. FML

by Alittlebitiffy / 11/07/2016 at 8:51am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals

Today, while at my job as a lifeguard, a little girl got stuck in the shower cubicle because the lock wouldn't open. To get her out, I had to lift the door off the hinges and swing it open, a fairly safe procedure. The hinges broke, though, and I ended up hitting the girl with the door. FML

by caitywebbkid / 10/09/2016 at 7:36am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML

by AnonymousCow / 09/20/2016 at 9:04am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids

Today, whilst at work as a furniture salesperson, a couple was looking at a couch. As part of our sales technique, we invite people to take a seat. The man was wearing shorts, and his testicles dropped out to the side. I had to discuss fabric options, etc, whilst avoiding looking at his balls. FML

by orangediva / 09/18/2016 at 1:16pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I missed out on my first cooking lesson because I was an hour late. I cannot go to the rest of them because if you don't attend the first class then you are not allowed to attend the rest. I just spent $70 on a cooking course that I won't be able to attend. FML

by That Person / 09/13/2016 at 8:11pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML

by LennyLemon / 08/25/2016 at 9:00am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML

by Girl w/ the Pearl Earring / 08/22/2016 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my car broke down on my way home from university. I tried calling for help, only to realise my phone had completely run out of charge. Luckily, I had passed a police station so I decided to walk the 10 minutes down the road to ask for a phone. When I got there, the station was closed. FML

by supercalifragilisticexpialidocious / 08/11/2016 at 4:33am / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation

Today, I was fired because my boss found out I had been looking for a new job. Then, I got a call from my only job prospect, saying I was overqualified and too young to work there as a waitress. FML

by unemployedaussie / 06/23/2016 at 8:35am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work

Today, my ex-best friend, who I haven't spoken to in a year because of how obsessive she got, posted a picture of herself with dyed brown hair and glasses. We look like twins. Even I thought it was me. Some people are commenting that I look beautiful. School starts tomorrow. FML

by exiebestie / 04/25/2016 at 9:30pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my pubic hairs were poking into my wang, I went to scratch it. Something bit my hand. FML

by swag papi / 01/22/2016 at 12:47am / Australia (Western Australia) / Animals