FMLs submitted from West Virginia

Today, I went to a great concert. Against all odds, I got to meet the band. All I had for them to autograph was a flyer protesting their concert that was given to me on the way in. FML

by elijahrobrt / 01/07/2012 at 1:48am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, it finally became clear to me that before you start dating a co-worker, it's best to figure out who they've already dated from work, just in case one of her exes is your new manager. FML

by Scorned Employee / 01/01/2012 at 10:38pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I broke my right leg. I've had one shot of morphine, and even that only relieved the pain a little. It's now totally worn off and I have yet to get pain medication of any kind. My leg has been broken for over nine hours now. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2011 at 4:12am / United States (West Virginia) / Health

Today, I was in a pool locker room, surrounded by semi-naked people. While changing into my clothes, I accidentally pushed a button on my phone, causing it to make the loud, unmistakable camera shutter sound effect. Everyone definitely heard it. FML

by Roode / 07/22/2011 at 1:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex in the janitor's closet of the pet store where I work. We were really getting into it when we were rudely interrupted by dozens of salamanders crawling up our legs. I had forgotten to lock the cage before we started. FML

by anonymous / 07/05/2011 at 12:32am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend asked me how women could urinate with a tampon in. FML

by woah / 05/04/2011 at 7:51am / United States (West Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I was at Aéropostale with some friends when I noticed a woman glaring at me. When we got to the checkout, the woman still had her eyes on me, so I asked why she was staring. She snapped, "If you had kept your legs closed, you wouldn't be pregnant." I'm not pregnant. FML

by vlcardenx3 / 03/12/2011 at 4:11pm / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I came home to find a note on my door. I thought it was from my elderly disabled neighbors thanking me for cleaning off their snow covered car, since about 6 inches came down. It was from them, only it said I owed them for damages to their car. Damages that were already there. FML

by kittyd / 01/28/2011 at 12:24am / United States (West Virginia) / Transportation

Today, it's Black Friday. I got sucker-punched by some woman over a ten dollar griddle. FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 9:22am / United States (West Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I noticed a picture in an elderly patients room, of a pretty girl in a bikini. Trying to be funny and lighten the mood, I said, "Looks like you have some good eye candy to help you recover faster." With a stern look he replied, "That's my granddaughter." FML

by BlackRavenWings / 11/21/2010 at 5:36pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work

Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML

by johnboy / 11/09/2010 at 12:08pm / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, my husband and I moved to get closer to his job. Today he got transferred 150 miles away from where we moved to. FML

by liz / 10/03/2010 at 12:00am / United States (West Virginia) / Love

Today, I found out I've been incorrectly sorting thousands of papers for the past two weeks. My boss wanted them sorted by date, but the co-worker who instructed me said to sort them into alphabetical order just to watch me fail. FML

by MSURebel70 / 07/16/2010 at 7:48pm / United States (West Virginia) / Work