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FMLs submitted from Wellington

Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17248) - you deserved it (4658)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML

#15068596
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22222) - you deserved it (2150)

On 02/21/2011 at 7:23pm - misc - by peedonme (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend drunkenly decided to let his friends cut his hair into a mullet. He won't change it. I'm supposed to introduce him to my family. FML

#13775223
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20054) - you deserved it (3565)

On 11/09/2010 at 7:02am - misc - by botheredgf (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (4988)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

#7101810
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6845) - you deserved it (63445)

On 01/02/2010 at 8:41am - misc - by pissfaced (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (1097)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML

#6359695
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24909) - you deserved it (1768)

On 11/18/2009 at 8:30pm - health - by CB (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I met up with a girl I've been talking to on the internet for a year and a half. Turns out she edits her moustache out of all her photos. FML

#6035078
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14112) - you deserved it (30017)

On 10/28/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I made a tuna sandwich. It was really nice , so I looked at the label to see what brand it was. Turns out it wasn't tuna. It was fancy cat food. FML

#5636942
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10888) - you deserved it (38675)

On 10/04/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by Rizzle (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I got back from vacation and realised I still had the motel key. The key-ring has the address on it, so you can post it back to them. I drove to the postbox and posted the key. I then discovered that the motel key won't start my car. FML

#5425393
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13649) - you deserved it (34276)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:15am - misc - by fmlxxxx (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I had dinner with my family in celebration of my 19th Birthday. I've been hinting that I need a new laptop for months now and I was sure my family had bought me one. I have got a pair of slipper socks. FML

#5269202
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25543) - you deserved it (8058)

On 09/15/2009 at 6:09am - misc - by Unloved. (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my 11-year-old son and I were going through some old photos. He saw one of me when I was 22 on a beach, wearing a bikini. He said "Wow! Who's that?" Quite proudly I said it was me. He looked at me and said "What happened?" FML

#5164588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33974) - you deserved it (6767)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:13am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, at work I noticed that the last of my pencils had been taken from my desk. I assumed it was the coworker who I've talked to at least ten times regarding taking my stationery. I approached her and, feeling brave, yelled at her in front of the entire office. I was holding the pencil. FML

#4356271
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5107) - you deserved it (59448)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:18am - work - by cosmonaut (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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