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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33464) - you deserved it (9630)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to listen to fellow classmates whine about selling one of their many houses, while I can barely afford to pay for a $100 textbook. FML

#20987288
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42684) - you deserved it (2956)

On 12/10/2013 at 1:04am - money - by thefifthdoctor - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML

#20985907
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46547) - you deserved it (3064)

On 12/09/2013 at 12:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor put up an electric fence to keep my five-year-old son out. FML

#20980679
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39109) - you deserved it (13377)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:29pm - kids - by Awkward - United States (Washington)

Today, I set up a motion-activated sprinkler to drench the neighborhood kids who have been ding dong ditching me for years. Because they cannot get close enough to ring the doorbell, they decided to start egging me instead. FML

#20979023
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43004) - you deserved it (6579)

On 12/03/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by Kyle - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my first job interview in months. Just minutes in, a sudden huge, uncontrollable sneeze overcame me. A wad of snot flew out onto my shirt, which I didn't even notice until the visibly disgusted interviewer pointed it out. FML

#20974690
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37821) - you deserved it (3411)

On 11/29/2013 at 1:08pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31234) - you deserved it (14800)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father took revenge on me for bankrupting him in a game of Monopoly. His revenge consisted of having a truckload of sand dumped in my driveway while I was at work. FML

#20966996
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (3331)

On 11/22/2013 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my sister introduced our parents to her new boyfriend. He's my boyfriend, and he told me he was going to be out of state for a few weeks on business. FML

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML

#20949324
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40693) - you deserved it (8207)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, while researching tea etiquette for Sunday's tea, I read, "to put milk in your tea before sugar is to cross the path of love, perhaps never to marry." I suddenly panicked that this very lack of knowledge is why I haven't met a man who wants to marry me, and that I never will. I'm only 23. FML

#20940705
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29997) - you deserved it (8684)

On 10/31/2013 at 9:11pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37332) - you deserved it (4745)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "lil' yeast infection's sis". FML

#20935789
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (2733)

On 10/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by Dor51 (woman) - United States (Washington)



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