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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my boss forgot her meeting with an official from the military base and called to ask me to handle it. The very cute Marine showed up that afternoon and we talked for an hour. After he left, I realized I had forgotten about the paper mustache I taped to my face for fun that morning. FML

#285039
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15323) - you deserved it (65082)

On 03/12/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Jaeda (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while showering in my dorm, a hand reaches through the curtain and grabs my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized and he had sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

#268539
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64480) - you deserved it (2733)

On 03/11/2009 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that the electric nose hair clippers that I've been using for the past two years are in fact my father's pubic hair trimmers. FML

#268093
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57019) - you deserved it (14417)

On 03/11/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by nickyniknaim93 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

#208804
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48779) - you deserved it (8003)

On 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm - misc - by Sara (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it is my twin sisters and my birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me pretty also. FML

#208203
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (104878) - you deserved it (4853)

On 03/04/2009 at 4:48pm - misc - by Kensie (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she has ever had an affair. She replied, "Yes. With you". FML

#168458
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49022) - you deserved it (6303)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:34am - love - by Sdutent (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss said he was giving me a significant raise. After he requested the payroll department to raise my salary they informed him he needed to fill out a one-sheet form. He took my raise away because he didn't want to fill out that sheet. FML

#154769
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60950) - you deserved it (2110)

On 02/27/2009 at 6:05pm - work - by anabolic (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was telling my mom that I was really nervous about going to the gynecologist for the first time. Her response, "Oh don't worry, it's not like it's the first time you've spread your legs!" FML

#98125
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35941) - you deserved it (8949)

On 02/21/2009 at 6:15pm - misc - by taperjeangirl - United States (Washington)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37723) - you deserved it (12058)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized the annoying squealing I hear every night isn't my guinea pig. Apparently my brothers girlfriend makes that sound when they have sex. FML

#62926
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41545) - you deserved it (2714)

On 02/17/2009 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by KTK (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, the priest was handing out red roses after church. The woman ahead of me asked for a rose. The priest said, "Sorry, we are only giving them out to single women since they didn't get any for Valentine's Day." Then he hands one to me. This was the first time I have been to that church. FML

#62419
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32924) - you deserved it (3384)

On 02/17/2009 at 6:44pm - love - by KC (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for the musical at my school. Before I sang my song, I gave my music to the director. She said "Oh, I love this song!". After I sang it, she told me, "Its okay, I still like the song." FML

#14896
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22099) - you deserved it (4209)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:18pm - misc - by None (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25782) - you deserved it (4889)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)



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