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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, my ex-boyfriend, who I have been trying to get back together with, texted me. He asked me how life was going, he then asked me if I had the naked picture of him saved on my phone. I asked him why. He replied that he wanted to send it to his crush. FML

#6773242
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27403) - you deserved it (4225)

On 12/16/2009 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to a movie with a girl I went to high school with. There was a preview for an upcoming 3D movie. I asked her if she had ever seen a 3D movie before. She told me she couldn't because she is blind in one eye. Apparently it's a "sensitive subject." FML

#6762994
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26120) - you deserved it (4233)

On 12/15/2009 at 9:49am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I finally finished vacuuming my downstairs. Instead of finding the wall outlet and unplugging the vacuum, I triumphantly tugged the cord from across the room to release the plug from the wall. It flew at me at top speed and hit me in the face. FML

#6723813
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6668) - you deserved it (37721)

On 12/12/2009 at 3:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up at 7 am to take my last final. When I got to the parking lot, I realized my car was missing. After speaking to the police for 3 hours, I called my girlfriend to let her know what happened. She then told me I had parked on the street the night before. So much for the 8 am final. FML

#6689873
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7097) - you deserved it (27659)

On 12/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by nofinal (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

#6659884
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11888) - you deserved it (30457)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML

#6624561
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13837) - you deserved it (33159)

On 12/05/2009 at 10:37pm - health - by soupduped (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30540) - you deserved it (2792)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to send my boyfriend a sexy picture. I took a close up picture of my face, and, trying to be sexy, had my naked body reflected on a mirror in the background. First thing he says: "Who the hell is that guy in the background?" FML

#6596856
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20584) - you deserved it (6122)

On 12/04/2009 at 7:48am - intimacy - by Not-so-sexy - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into my apartment to find my boyfriend of two years screwing my lifelong best friend. I immediately burst into tears. He looked at me and told me I was being too dramatic. FML

#6580116
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (2245)

On 12/03/2009 at 3:39am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my friend accidentally left her facebook logged onto my computer after she left my house. I looked on her facebook and found a very long message between her and my other friends talking about how much they hate me. FML

#6506923
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40762) - you deserved it (8064)

On 11/29/2009 at 1:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was feeling confident enough to approach a guy by asking the bartender if I could buy him a refill of whatever he was drinking. He was drinking water. FML

#6454408
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25574) - you deserved it (5379)

On 11/25/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

#6430848
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (7430)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:03am - health - by cc (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

#6417968
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28909) - you deserved it (2396)

On 11/23/2009 at 2:31am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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