Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I'm horribly out of shape. My arms are sore, almost like I'd been doing heavy lifting yesterday. Nope. It just was from squeezing cupcake icing out of a tube. FML

Today, I was the weird girl on the city bus who falls asleep then makes a loud, weird noise and wakes herself up. FML

#21284017
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29267) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by pyrogypsy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15534) - you deserved it (34740)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm sick with the worst head cold of my life. For some reason whenever I cough, I also fart. Everyone thinks I'm just trying to cover up flatulence with fake coughing. FML

#21266077
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35438) - you deserved it (3254)

On 09/26/2014 at 10:46pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35830) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40488) - you deserved it (5045)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to decline the sale of alcohol to a man who reeked of booze and was practically falling asleep at my till. He tried to convince me that he wasn't drunk, he was just blind. Still refusing to sell him the beer, he started yelling at me, accusing me of "being racist against the 'blinds'". FML

#21256123
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (3000)

On 09/11/2014 at 2:49am - work - by PerfectVision (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I started a new job. Three of my Kenyan coworkers keep getting together and reminding me that having more than one wife is okay in their country. I've gotten 3 marriage proposals from married men so far. FML

#21255696
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36078) - you deserved it (3137)

On 09/10/2014 at 1:16pm - work - by notmarryingyou - United States (Washington)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (14882)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed my karate instructor whimper and practically piss himself as a guy walked up to him in the street and demanded his wallet. What a total waste of hundreds of dollars' worth of lessons. FML

#21244527
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36296) - you deserved it (4246)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:45pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so desperately lonely that I begged a telemarketer not to hang up on me. FML

#21243162
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37260) - you deserved it (5763)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by lonely loser (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML

#21241143
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44862) - you deserved it (6425)

On 08/19/2014 at 6:30pm - kids - by Xbieblette51 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39123) - you deserved it (2930)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: