FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, after being told numerous times how sexist the East Coast is, I went ahead with my East Coast grad school architecture interview. The first thing out of the interviewer's mouth was, "Are you sure you don't want to do interior architecture?" FML

by LL / 02/04/2016 at 9:13am / United States (Washington) / Work

Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML

by my face though / 01/25/2016 at 12:04pm / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I texted the girl I'm going to homecoming with in a couple days to say hi. The conversation started OK, but then morphed into her saying that she doesn't feel anything between us, and wants to stop being friends after the dance. I have to buy her dinner and a ticket, out of my own wallet. FML

by BURGERT0WN USA / 01/10/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML

by ywouldudomelikethat / 01/03/2016 at 3:02pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2015 at 1:06pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, my mom decided that my hair was too long and that she was going to cut it. I now look like a male extra from Xanadu. FML

by ImTheAlpha / 12/23/2015 at 6:56pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML

by bahhumbug / 12/21/2015 at 1:25pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that my girlfriend takes creepshots of me sleeping, and my mom likes them on her Instagram. FML

by Anonymous / 12/21/2015 at 9:56am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I used my phone to take pictures of my hemorrhoids to show my doctor, forgetting I'd set my phone to upload all photos to a shared Dropbox account. My mother-in-law called. FML

by NewMom1115 / 12/17/2015 at 5:53pm / United States (Washington) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

by SickOfYourShit / 12/16/2015 at 10:41am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I was going to propose to my girlfriend. At the right moment, I got down on one knee. As I was reaching into my pocket to get the ring, she got so freaked out she kicked me in the face. I chipped a tooth and the ring flew off, and now I can't find it. FML

by sothatsano / 12/16/2015 at 3:56am / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend that miles are the same distance for everything. He thought that human miles were different than mouse miles, because they're smaller. He's 34. FML

by MiceMiles / 12/10/2015 at 7:34am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 4-year-old twin boys are fighting because they both want to watch the SAME show on Netflix. They don't want the other one to choose, because somehow that invalidates their own choice, even though they both get to watch what they want, which is "Barbie, life in the dream house". FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Washington) / Kids