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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42514) - you deserved it (6841)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I went into my former workplace. While there, an ex-coworker told me that after I quit, they split my position into two separate jobs. When I worked there, my boss had told me to suck it up whenever I said there was too much work for just one person. FML

#21209204
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44847) - you deserved it (3528)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:52pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

#21209203
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41485) - you deserved it (6211)

On 07/14/2014 at 7:48pm - love - by KaiyaOtaku1 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my ex told me that she's 3 weeks pregnant with my child. Not only was she on her period when I broke up with her last week, her friend let me know that the positive pregnancy test she showed me was a fake that she'd bought online. FML

#21205080
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51489) - you deserved it (5104)

On 07/10/2014 at 1:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain what "cashback" was to a customer. She called me a liar and wanted to talk to a manager because she felt I made up the concept. I'm the manager. She wouldn't believe me and waited in the store for an hour. Apparently this is what a Masters degree gets me. FML

#21194527
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47013) - you deserved it (4145)

On 07/01/2014 at 12:26am - work - by where do they come from - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57317) - you deserved it (4532)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML

#21168803
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47129) - you deserved it (3478)

On 06/09/2014 at 9:56pm - health - by Harry (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my parents were screaming so loud about who clogged the toilet that a neighbor called the police because they thought someone was in danger. FML

#21152412
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39651) - you deserved it (3623)

On 05/26/2014 at 4:28pm - misc - by dear god why (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I explained to my dad that I had spent over three hours baking, frosting, and decorating a cake from scratch and how proud I was of it. Without even looking up at me, he replied, "You really need a boyfriend." FML

#21149895
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41931) - you deserved it (5003)

On 05/24/2014 at 2:23am - misc - by lifesabitch2016 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, some girl's mom gave me a load of abuse for endangering her daughter's health. How? By deleting my Facebook account, which caused her to have a serious panic attack. Apparently she thought we were best friends, and that I was ditching her. I'm confused too. FML

#21149491
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (3134)

On 05/23/2014 at 6:44pm - misc - by nikaea (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39903) - you deserved it (3530)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53065) - you deserved it (7155)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom invited me over yet again so I could practice my culinary degree by making an exquisite, gourmet meal for her dog; a three year old Pomeranian who pees in my shoes. FML

#21138238
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37470) - you deserved it (4740)

On 05/12/2014 at 10:46pm - animals - by that_culinary_degree_though (woman) - United States (Washington)



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