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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, after much self-doubt and awkwardness, I learned that I look amazing in a little black dress. Now I have to figure out what I'm going to tell my wife. FML

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18751) - you deserved it (39612)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having a conversation with my mother during which I described something as being pungent. She thought I had made up the word, so I grabbed the dictionary to show her that I hadn't. She then became enraged, threw the dictionary at my head and told me never to talk to her again. FML

#20463921
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32826) - you deserved it (3384)

On 01/17/2013 at 1:38am - misc - by Mizzaroo - United States (Washington)

Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML

#20463186
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32089) - you deserved it (1876)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a new girlfriend. Unfortunately, the last girl I asked out just responded to my relationship request on Facebook. It's been 4 hours, and my new girlfriend already thinks I'm cheating on her. FML

#20460941
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14355) - you deserved it (42790)

On 01/15/2013 at 3:53pm - love - by George - United States (Washington)

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35597) - you deserved it (3104)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

#20438192
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42800) - you deserved it (2036)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:31am - love - by alynna007 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sat on my own testicles while having a serious and tenderly sweet discussion with my fiancée about our future together. We were both crying, but for very different reasons. FML

#20433657
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (5130)

On 12/31/2012 at 6:16am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I auditioned for a role in ballet. My stomach was in pain and as I ran to be lifted into the air by my partner, I let out a huge fart. The auditorium was dead silent. FML

#20429501
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37271) - you deserved it (4091)

On 12/29/2012 at 4:32am - misc - by gassy - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to cover a coworker's closing shift because she felt sick. My boss even gave me a $10 gift card for doing it. I felt good about it, until I walked outside and found that my car had been stolen. FML

#20425281
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (2029)

On 12/27/2012 at 3:52am - work - by Ross R - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been 13 months since I've been living in the States. I've been called a Nazi, asked if we have electricity in Germany, and been made fun of the way I speak with my "German accent", the list goes on. I'm not even German, I'm Danish. FML

#20201491
414 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41941) - you deserved it (2581)

On 12/12/2012 at 1:45am - kids - by LearnGeographyUSA (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss was telling everyone that he knew a guy who went to a college at which multiple people were shot and killed recently. Being extremely socially awkward and uncomfortable, I blurted, "That's awesome." Now everyone in the office is terrified of me. FML

#20191114
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11990) - you deserved it (22522)

On 12/04/2012 at 4:34pm - work - by Adan - United States (Washington)



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