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FMLs submitted from Washington

Today, I got hit on by an attractive young doctor. After talking for a while we realized that we recognized each other but couldn't figure out how. Then he remembered. He was the one who'd delivered my 10 1/2 lb baby 7 months ago. I stood out because my vag tore worse than anything he'd ever seen. FML

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

Today, a while after finishing and uploading a task, I looked at my peers' work to make sure I hadn't missed anything in mine. One of them had gotten the same idea and had decided to incorporate part of my work into his. "Part" as in "all". "All" as in all of his work is also all of mine. FML

#21409245
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (2110)

On 05/12/2015 at 11:19pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25896) - you deserved it (2093)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss told me I ask too many questions and that's why they cut my hours in half. Officially, I'm a "Pharmacy Technician in Training", which means I'm trying to teach myself how to do the job without killing someone. All from on the job experience and an outdated textbook. FML

#21402730
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (2250)

On 05/01/2015 at 2:12am - work - by PharmSlave (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I coughed so hard that I fractured two ribs. FML

#21395325
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30122) - you deserved it (2388)

On 04/17/2015 at 5:47pm - health - by rachlette (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to feed my neighbors' chickens while they were on vacation. I noticed the TV on inside, so I peeked in to see if the place was being messed with. Guess who found the neighbor home early, fully naked, and jerking off. FML

#21393386
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (3250)

On 04/14/2015 at 4:33am - intimacy - by Lebac - United States (Washington)

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

#21392458
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30029) - you deserved it (5458)

On 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to explain to someone that all beverages, except plain water, actually have calories. They weren't too happy that their milkshake diet was over before it began. FML

#21384468
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24935) - you deserved it (2115)

On 03/30/2015 at 10:50pm - health - by technical - United States (Washington)

Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25878) - you deserved it (2176)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

Today, I tore my ACL while doing physical therapy that's supposed to keep me from tearing my ACL. FML

#21381900
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31391) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, it's been a week since I was dumped. I planned to stay at my apartment, cry and eat chocolate in peace. My roommate decided to have loud sex with her boyfriend in the apartment. She refused to quiet down, saying "My body, my rules." FML

#21379056
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28948) - you deserved it (3566)

On 03/21/2015 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by stoprubbingitinmyface (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to surprise my husband by wearing something sexy to bed. He didn't say anything, just laughed and left the room for 10 minutes. The little confidence I had disappeared, so I changed, feeling stupid for thinking I could pull off sexy. He got mad at me for being confusing. FML

#21376116
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35389) - you deserved it (74)

On 03/17/2015 at 1:09am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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