FMLs submitted from Vlaams-Brabant

Today, my girlfriend said she would give my penis a name: Gonzales. I asked why she wanted to name it that, and she said, "Because he's Speedy." FML

by Gonzales / 08/07/2015 at 3:47pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, after being a resident DJ at a local club for over 4 years, I got fired. Not because I'm bad at what I do, but because my boss thinks I'm not 'having fun like the other DJs'. And by 'having fun' he means that I don't drink enough. I got fired for not being an alcoholic. FML

by SFBEL / 05/20/2015 at 11:56pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Work

Today, my girlfriend's dad called to say she wasn't allowed to come with me on a three-day trip on New Year's. He waited until Christmas to say it, even though we booked and paid for the trip nearly a month ago. Now he ruined both holidays. FML

by sneeuwbal / 12/25/2014 at 1:36pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Love

Today, I had a dream in which I was playing tennis. As I hit a powerful serve, I suddenly woke up due to having slapped myself in the face. FML

by Grand Slam / 09/10/2013 at 2:44pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

by pride? what's that? :( / 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm / Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant) / Intimacy