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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, after working for my company for 10 years, my co-workers threw me a farewell party. The boss gave quite an eloquent speech, ending in "we're really gonna miss you Mark." My name is Evan. FML

#163929
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64640) - you deserved it (2952)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:50pm - work - by Grrrrr (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get a sports physical at a hospital. My nurse was morbidly obese and unattractive. She told me she would go through the tests listed on the sheet. She did everything, including feeling my genitalia. When it was done, I read over the sheet. Genitalia wasn't a test listed. FML

#162461
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164132) - you deserved it (14899)

On 02/28/2009 at 4:58pm - health - by TahRah (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, me and my girlfriend got into a fight. After giving my genius response to one of her asinine comments, I stormed out of the store, having the last word. Ten minutes later she comes out to find me in the parking lot. My car wouldn't start. She texts me "Karma's a bitch" then drives away. FML

#159138
49 comments

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

#152596
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (63991)

On 02/27/2009 at 1:39pm - misc - by LuvShawn (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

#138466
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53295) - you deserved it (4478)

On 02/25/2009 at 10:12pm - misc - by MADfml - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to rush to school to avoid being late. Unfortunately, I forgot to put a bra on beforehand, and as soon as I got to gym class, the first thing my teacher said was: "Okay folks, let's get outside, we're running the mile." FML

#135663
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24189) - you deserved it (36877)

On 02/25/2009 at 6:29pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to tell my parents about my new nose job I got about a month ago. My mom always told me I should get one, so I didn't tell her right away to see if she would notice. I was home for about 20 minutes before she asked me, "so when are you getting that nose job?" FML

#134540
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40945) - you deserved it (6077)

On 02/25/2009 at 4:31pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, in art class we finally had the critique for the self portraits we've been working on for a month. We critique a few and come to mine. Everyone is silent. Finally, one girl says "I'm just going to be blunt. It doesn't look like you. You're not that pretty." Everyone nods. FML

#132596
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62466) - you deserved it (5215)

On 02/25/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by mylifeeee - United States (Virginia)

Today, while working on a medical school application, I asked my mom what she thought my greatest challenge in life had been. She replied : "Trying to lose your virginity." FML

#122918
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73640) - you deserved it (5970)

On 02/24/2009 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by Dr. Virgin (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to chill with my best guy friend and his girlfriend, whom I recently met after I moved to the area. After a few beers, my buddy leaned over and tried to make out with me. I quickly backed up and shockingly looked over at his girlfriend to expect the same reaction. She winked. FML

#120277
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66088) - you deserved it (7503)

On 02/24/2009 at 12:30am - intimacy - by LilShawty2000 (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to tell my super-conservative parents that I had just gone to visit the boyfriend I'm not supposed to have so that I could tell him I am pregnant. FML

#113556
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19723) - you deserved it (51288)

On 02/23/2009 at 1:28pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I just studied for 13.5 hours completely outlining a book for history. Thirty minutes before the test, I realized I had been reading the wrong book. FML

#112701
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35291) - you deserved it (40062)

On 02/23/2009 at 10:32am - work - by Nic (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I celebrated my birthday with my friend who has the same birthday by going out to dinner with a bunch of our friends. The waiter brought out a cake for my friend but not for me. No one noticed my exclusion. I sang happy birthday on my birthday. FML

#109688
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53951) - you deserved it (3318)

On 02/22/2009 at 11:05pm - misc - by jet8725 - United States (Virginia)



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