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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I realized that the only food I have is four months' worth of nutrisystem food from when my parents went on the nutrisystem diet. I am not able to secure a job and buy my own food, so I have two choices: die of starvation or die of nasty nutrisystem food. FML

#7918887
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19495) - you deserved it (8059)

On 02/05/2010 at 10:19pm - health - by Henry (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

#7904015
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26472) - you deserved it (2218)

On 02/05/2010 at 11:29am - intimacy - by donkeyd - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing rugby. I was tackled very hard at the end of a play, and I got up to find my head bleeding profusely. Not one person offered to drive me to the ER. I had to drive myself to get six stitches in the face. FML

#7771454
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (3317)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:34am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm in the hospital because I sliced my leg open. Why? I jumped off my bed and scratched myself on the metal bed frame when Miss America was crowned to Miss Virginia. I'm 20 years old, and a man. FML

#7744599
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8380) - you deserved it (32057)

On 01/31/2010 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while vainly running a comb through my balding hair, I noticed a hair sticking out of my nose. I yanked it out, and the pain made me tear up a little. It was an inch long. I'm 24 and beginning to have more hair in my nose than on my head. FML

#7570028
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26327) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:10pm - health - by ptwm (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML

#7552135
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54201) - you deserved it (2137)

On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called a suicide prevention hotline. No one picked up. FML

#7542505
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65928) - you deserved it (6465)

On 01/24/2010 at 11:12am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up to find my freshly dry-cleaned $200 suit not on my bed. Instead I found my drunk ex-girlfriend. Not only did she break into my house, she decided that she wanted to sleep in my bed and threw my suit into the trash. I have a job interview today and the garbage men already came. FML

#7418364
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27635) - you deserved it (2523)

On 01/18/2010 at 12:05pm - misc - by Sam (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I did a 'dine and dash' and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

#7321652
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5006) - you deserved it (75140)

On 01/13/2010 at 4:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

#7275628
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (5264)

On 01/11/2010 at 8:25am - love - by krisx3ftw (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I come home for lunch. I see a sandwich on the table with a note saying "I hope we can have a healthy new relationship, Love, Carissa." I see another note from my girlfriend next to it saying "I hope you enjoy your new relationship with Carissa." Carissa is my new step mother. FML

#7226236
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32789) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/08/2010 at 10:45pm - misc - by SingleWorker (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I started my new job as a janitor at a store. The first thing that happened when I came in was another employee telling me that there was vomit in the restroom, and that I had to clean it up. Not only did I clean up vomit, I had to clean up the poop that made the kid puke in the first place. FML

#7170495
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24570) - you deserved it (3939)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06pm - work - by Mark (man) - United States (Virginia)



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