Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I woke up to a pain on my eyelid. I stumbled into the bathroom to find a huge tick attached to the edge of my eyelid. My dad used tweezers to pull it off, only the head stuck. I had to go to the doctor and sit there for 15 minutes so she could pull the rest out. FML

#11821332
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35148) - you deserved it (2614)

On 07/12/2010 at 12:31am - health - by Sarah220 - United States (Virginia)

Today, my hot co-worker had to use my computer, so he called me while I was at lunch for my login password. It was his name. FML

#11515790
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19596) - you deserved it (41791)

On 06/28/2010 at 9:28am - work - by ladyhavery - United States (Virginia)

Today, a close friend pointed out to me how ironic it is that I make the Sim version of myself work out to lose weight, while I sit on my fat ass playing video games. FML

#11318182
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7916) - you deserved it (44531)

On 06/19/2010 at 8:40pm - health - by Grace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, as a prank, I set my wallpaper on my iTouch to a photo that makes the screen look broken. I pretended to freak out, showing my dad that it broke. Good news: My prank worked. Bad news: He threw the iTouch out the window in rage. It had 59 gigs in it. FML

#11304131
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11339) - you deserved it (52931)

On 06/19/2010 at 1:49am - misc - by Skrewed (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I had sex for the first time because we pledged we wouldn't have sex until we were married. He's terrible. FML

#10894032
340 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25985) - you deserved it (62530)

On 05/31/2010 at 9:35pm - intimacy - by anonomus - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered that I'm allergic to band-aids. I now have a band-aid shaped rash around a tiny cut on my leg. Oh the irony. FML

#10884107
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21134) - you deserved it (3229)

On 05/31/2010 at 11:43am - health - by twnty1 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was dirty texting my boyfriend since we couldn't see each other this weekend. We were getting really into it when he said, "If only you were this good in real life." FML

#10870072
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33650) - you deserved it (9835)

On 05/30/2010 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by lonelyandbored - United States (Virginia)

Today, I lectured my second-grade class to be more descriptive in their writing. I gave them an assignment to describe something in the classroom. I was grading their work later, and one student wrote, "My class is taught by a fat teacher with gray hair." FML

#10541725
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (15329)

On 05/15/2010 at 3:47am - kids - by Teaching26 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26187) - you deserved it (8752)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister's boyfriend came over to the house. I thought I would be nice and cook them both a dinner along with my own. Mine took a little longer to cook, so they ate before me and went back to her bedroom. I ate alone to the sound of them having fun. FML

#9361174
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24481) - you deserved it (3790)

On 03/24/2010 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by lonelyniceguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after thinking I smelled the aroma of stale alcohol, I asked my husband, who is a recovering alcoholic, if he has been completely honest with me about all that he has been doing. Bracing myself to hear about his fall off the wagon, I instead heard a confession of adultery. FML

#9327043
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27032) - you deserved it (3632)

On 03/23/2010 at 10:51am - intimacy - by BadtoWorse (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I called my dad at his new wife's house to inform him I was all set to graduate from community college with my associates degree and that we needed to sit down and plan how to pay for the 4 year degree. To which he replied "all a girl needs is an associates degree". Thanks dad. FML

#9182520
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24125) - you deserved it (3869)

On 03/18/2010 at 8:20am - money - by Anna (woman) - United States (Virginia)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: