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FMLs submitted from Virginia

Today, I was walking my dog through a park with a lake. My dog was swimming in said lake, and then appeared to be having trouble keeping his head up. I put my phone and keys on the ground and waded to my dog. He was fine, but I turned around in time to see someone run off with my stuff. FML

#21409745
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (2935)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:41pm - animals - by PrinceOfBritain - United States (Virginia)

Today, my new prescription medicine for my chronic acne did in fact work. It worked by inflaming the skin around my zits so that they blended in. FML

#21408702
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (1772)

On 05/11/2015 at 11:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finally got my 14-year-old son to aim while using the bathroom. If only I could get my husband to do the same. FML

#21404795
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25986) - you deserved it (2533)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:03pm - kids - by JustSom - United States (Virginia)

Today, I noticed my shower drain wasn't draining well. I cleaned it out, thinking it was just a rat's nest of hair. Wrong. It was an actual dead rat. FML

#21403907
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29461) - you deserved it (2252)

On 05/03/2015 at 12:55pm - misc - by umyuck - United States (Virginia)

Today, while driving, I saw a car pull over with its hazard lights on. I went to see if they needed help, only to see the guy was jerking off to something on his phone. FML

#21398963
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (3113)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:07am - intimacy - by someoneneedsassistance - United States (Virginia)

Today, my fiancé freaked when he noticed the tattoo on my wrist, and demanded to know when I got it. It was two years before we even started dating. FML

#21395494
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28126) - you deserved it (2190)

On 04/17/2015 at 11:12pm - love - by pandapantsMD (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31656) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I decided I would actually make use of my apartment complex's exercise equipment. My routine consisted of one mile on the treadmill, and 15 minutes on the toilet followed by 10 minutes of lying in the fetal position on my bath mat. Great core workout. FML

#21378520
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24794) - you deserved it (3985)

On 03/20/2015 at 5:43pm - health - by anon (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I slipped on some ice and wrecked my back. When my husband and I went to go to bed, he begged me to take one of the pain pills left over from his recent surgery. Not so I could feel better and get some rest, but so he could have sex. FML

#21365511
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31568) - you deserved it (3488)

On 02/28/2015 at 9:47pm - intimacy - by k8thagr8 (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

#21360123
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28474) - you deserved it (3764)

On 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm - animals - by tulisa (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I got a letter in the mail telling me to report for jury duty. The day that I have to show up is the day of my wedding. FML

#21353566
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (2331)

On 02/10/2015 at 6:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, in an effort to avoid my school's strict no-gum policy as my teacher made a b-line to me, I swallowed it. By the time the teacher reached me, the gum was on my desk, as well as my breakfast, thanks to my overactive gag reflex. FML

#21350431
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24159) - you deserved it (14060)

On 02/05/2015 at 4:03pm - misc - by gumchuck (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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