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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, was my first day at Military School. When our commander walked into the sleeping quarters, instructing us all to get up and stand at the foot of our beds. I had morning wood. To which the commander wasted no time in adressing in front of the rest of the room. FML

#5203639
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40331) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/12/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Lukev7 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after failing my Ls twice in the previous weeks, I finally passed. As I got home, I went for a drive with my dad. I smashed my mums car into an old ladys fence and ended up in her backyard. FML

#5163445
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6810) - you deserved it (33089)

On 09/10/2009 at 2:19am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, the bank called saying we were late in the mortgage payments. I was puzzled because three months ago I issued a big cheque to my mum pay off the mortgage. I just discovered that she instead lost it all at the casino. Turns out, she's become a compulsive gambler ever since dad passed away. FML

#4853130
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46666) - you deserved it (3480)

On 08/27/2009 at 1:53am - money - by smoothcoffee (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

#4730370
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35744) - you deserved it (11222)

On 08/22/2009 at 5:07am - health - by Buggga (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML

#4652929
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9717) - you deserved it (56181)

On 08/19/2009 at 10:36am - misc - by stagedivefail (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend of 5 years. I love her so much and I've been treating her extremely well. Before I could pop the question, she said in these exact words: "Babe, our relationship is like a drunken night. Fun while it lasted but its something I'd rather forget." FML

#4595974
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59762) - you deserved it (3293)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:04am - love - by singleandheartbroken (man) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I noticed my dishwasher wouldn't turn on. After shelling out $120 call-out fee, I was a little miffed when the technician walked in, pressed the 'unlock' function and walked out again. FML

#4594322
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8477) - you deserved it (49509)

On 08/17/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by veevee (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on the bus, when an elderly woman stepped in. She looked too weak to stand. She looked at me with her sad puppy eyes, expecting me to give up my seat for her. I felt sorry and got up. As soon as she sat down, she says, "Ha! Sucker!" She didn't look so cute anymore. FML

#4516147
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43884) - you deserved it (6824)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was alone with a work acquaintance at lunch. A noise came from his pocket; he whipped out his iPod Touch and said "Sorry, I have to take this," before walking away with the iPod to his ear. Not only did he not want to talk to me, he thought I was stupid enough to confuse an iPod with a phone. FML

#4446947
311 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44050) - you deserved it (14119)

On 08/11/2009 at 8:17am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found a wallet on the train. I called the owner, who said he would come around and pick it up. When he finally did, he looked inside and screamed that his money was missing, and that I was a dirty thief. I never took a cent. He's filing theft charges against me. FML

#4331157
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66312) - you deserved it (4136)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:14am - misc - by Shopgirl (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to call poison control because my idiot son swallowed a bunch of baking soda to "make a volcano in his tummy." FML

#4326730
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49071) - you deserved it (16198)

On 08/06/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I woke up and called my boyfriend. We had amazing phone sex, even better because no one was home and we didn't have to be quiet. Afterwards, I walk out into the kitchen. My mum hadn't gone to work that morning. FML

#4226426
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17623) - you deserved it (52955)

On 08/02/2009 at 7:33am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting a bit steamy. After a few minutes, he jumps up and runs over to the closet and puts on a long brown jacket putting the hood over to his eyes. He looks me in the eyes and says 'I am Obi Wan Kenobi and I'm going to slay you with my light saber'. FML

#4223881
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50670) - you deserved it (9573)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by dam01 (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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