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FMLs submitted from Victoria

Today, at 3 in the morning, I was getting out of bed to use the bathroom, when my boyfriend grabbed my arm, looked at me wide-eyed and begged, "Don't... They'll take your skin..." He doesn't remember saying it, and now I'm scared shitless to use the bathroom at night. FML

#21439825
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28990) - you deserved it (2648)

On 07/10/2015 at 11:49pm - misc - by Julianapilikusplatosophophes (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, an old lady wearing a low-cut shirt with no bra underneath came into my line with some groceries. At some point while bagging her groceries, her wrinkled breast slipped out of her shirt. She didn't even notice. I wish to fuck I could unsee this. FML

#21432649
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28168) - you deserved it (2139)

On 06/27/2015 at 2:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, it's my birthday. I had asked my parents for a keyboard, and I was really excited to open the massive box they gave me. It was a computer keyboard. I've been playing piano for 11 years. FML

#21428456
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29416) - you deserved it (4387)

On 06/19/2015 at 4:37am - misc - by THANKS - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to wait for my daughter's pet python to finish taking a bath before I could take a shower and go to work. FML

#21425623
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25430) - you deserved it (3753)

On 06/13/2015 at 9:27pm - animals - by patient_mom - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was having a panic attack so I went to my mum for support. She blocked her ears because my heavy breathing was annoying her. FML

Today, I missed the spider but succeeded in keying my own car. FML

#21414635
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17105) - you deserved it (23907)

On 05/23/2015 at 8:58pm - animals - by uwotm8 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got stopped by people asking for donations for their charity services. Being who I am, I hate saying no to people, so I told them "I don't have any money, only my card." Did you know they also accept payment by card? FML

#21412233
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27639) - you deserved it (6993)

On 05/18/2015 at 9:22pm - money - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I overheard my 14-year-old daughter telling her friend that she's saving money to get her hymen surgically removed so her first time won't hurt. FML

#21405071
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31788) - you deserved it (3537)

On 05/05/2015 at 11:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, after recently getting my car fully serviced and fixed, the horn has decided to spontaneously beep. To stop the beeping I have to press the horn hard, making it look like I'm purposely doing it to piss people off. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

#21391907
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (3110)

On 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I finally had nice enough weather to dry my clothes on the washing line. Two hours later, all my clothes were stolen. FML

#21386898
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30240) - you deserved it (3765)

On 04/03/2015 at 6:44am - misc - by clothesthief - Australia (Victoria)

Today, on my day off, I received a call from my boss asking why I wasn't at work yet. After getting dressed and an hour-long train ride later, I got there only to find out that it was an April Fool's prank. I had to take the train back home. FML

#21384991
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28102) - you deserved it (5521)

On 03/31/2015 at 10:15pm - work - by IDontGetPaidEnoughForThisShit (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that when buying my $500 dollar dress I put my address as Austria instead of Australia. FML

#21384499
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26854) - you deserved it (12299)

On 03/30/2015 at 11:27pm - money - by post it - Australia (Victoria)



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